Eating Out Page #4

Tiffany?

You hit herwith my car on

purpose?

No that was just dumb luck, i

knew how to take advantage of the situation.

Plus Tiffany lives right next

door to them and seeing you date her neighbor would kill her.

Okay, one date, and we'll see

how it goes from there- but no sex stuff.

Yeah, try to control yourself.

F*** me or f*** you?

You'll actually wear it for

what, twenty minutes?

Not with this guy.

Because he's Mr. Wonderful,

Mr. Yin up my Yang,

I talked to him for fifteen

minutes and I feel like I've known him my whole life.

I'll be happy if he likes to

kiss.

He's probably a freak.

When he's around, my heart

beats like a trailer park house.

That is so gay. And I mean all

three definitions.

So what are you doing? Eating

out?

Richard's having a b-b-q for

staff in the music department.

And then...?

I dunno,

but try not be here, okay?

Oh, and then you're eating

out.

What if he tries to grab me?

We're not pirates, we just

dress like them... and chase booty.

He'll be just as nervous as

you. So try not to punch him if he makes a move on you or anything.

I don't think I'd punch him. i

think I'd probably just start crying or something.

Aww. You got fagitude.

Well, how do I know if he

wants to do it, is there like a code word or something?

You mean like homolingo? We

talk normally... in English.

I'm a failed role-model.

Do I look gay?

Like an insatiable bottom.

Why did you say that?

Just to f*** with you. it's for

you, Blowmeo.

Hello?

it's me.

HI Tiffani! I was just running

out the door, but- HI Tiffani!

So, I ran into Max today.

How is Max?

Well, he's fine and you're gay.

Oh, that's just-

it explains an awful lot.

I thought maybe I wasn't

attractive enough. But now I see where I stand.

I thought maybe, you know, i

could win you back to ourteam.

Sorry Tiffani, I'm gay now.

How could you do this to me?

Well actually, I think you did it

to me.

I think you turned me gay.

I did not turn you gay! How

can you say that?!

I mean don't take it

personally.

I am a person! How else am i

supposed to take it?

Bastard! uhhhhhh.

Fag! Fag! Fag! Fag!

it's funny, I used to have-

had a friend in this same building.

I'll be like five minutes, okay?

Please, Siegfried and Roy

couldn't tame your hair.

uh, it's OK.

Gwen can keep you company.

I'm used to entertaining your

tricks.

Okay, mute!

She's kidding. I haven't had a

trick in like so long. I mean-

Tricks are for kids.

I mean, I've had dates, it's

just-

Go powder your nose, babe.

The powder that goes on your nose.

Hello, and welcome to the

Gwen Anderson show.

Mind if I couch with you?

Sure.

So, what's your majorette?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes