Early Man Page #5

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Perhaps she's heard

about the game.

(SCOFFS) Of course she hasn't

heard about the game.

"I've heard about the game.

- (GASPS) "You, arranging a football

match against a bunch of savages?

"You idiot!

"Imagine if we lost."

- We won't.

- "I said, imagine it!

"Exactly!

"The mighty Bronze Age

"brought to its knees

by a bunch of cavemen?

"Well, I'm warning you, Nooth.

"You'd better not lose."

- "Hmm?"

- (GASPS)

(SQUAWKS)

End of message.

Oh! Hmm.

Silly old bat!

How dare she talk

to me like that!

MESSAGE BIRD:

(SCOFFS) "Silly old bat!

"How dare she talk

to me like that?"

Delivering message!

- (SQUAWKS)

- (BOTH YELPING)

Guards! Get that bird back!

What does the Queen know anyway?

The cavemen are oafs.

My players are...

Overpaid?

Champions!

Oh, yes, champions.

They spend their days thinking,

sleeping, eating football.

LORD NOOTH:
And I hardly think

the cavemen will be doing that.

- (ALL GASP)

- Rise and shine!

Training time!

- (INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

- (SNORING)

(YELPS) Ow!

- (SPIDER CHITTERING)

- DUG:
No, not like that.

(GROANING)

When I said "free kick,"

I meant of the ball.

MAGMA:
Sorry, Dug.

- (GRUNTS)

- DUG:
Hognob, no!

(WHIMPERS)

(SCREAMS)

DUG:
Barry, where are you going?

No, don't wander off!

Football's hard.

GRAVELLE:
Dug, my toe hurts!

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

DUG:
Grubup, drop it!

I told you,

- (GRUNTS)

- it's the only one we've got.

Come on, everyone!

We should be able to do this.

No, don't... Don't sit down.

Grubup no like football.

Make Grubup hungry.

(DUCK SQUAWKING)

(SNIFFING)

Oh. Oh, ho-ho.

Food. (CHUCKLING) Yum!

(GRUNTS)

Huh?

(SCREECHING)

Oh...

(SQUAWKS)

(ALL WHIMPERING)

- (ALL CHATTERING)

- Duck! Duck!

ALL:
Huh?

- No! Duck!

- (ALL GASP)

(SQUAWKING)

TREEBOR:
Look!

It's a giant man-eating mallard!

Run away!

Huh?

(DUG GROANS)

(SIGHS)

(HOWLING)

You haven't eaten

your primordial soup.

Not really hungry.

(SIGHS) Oh...

Huh?

(SNIFFING)

(GASPS)

- (GRUNTS)

- (THUNDER RUMBLING)

Dug, it's time to give up

this football lark

for their sake.

They're just not capable of it.

Don't you miss the valley,

Chief?

The valley's gone now.

And we're better off

here in the Badlands

- than slaving down some mine.

- (DUCK SQUAWKS)

I mean, there's

the odd giant duck around,

but at least

we're still together.

We're still a tribe.

But our ancestors

played football.

We know they did.

I still believe we can do this.

With what?

You haven't even got

a ball to play with.

(SIGHS)

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

CHIEF BOBNAR:
It's over.

(DISTANT HOWLING)

No. There's still time.

Come on, Hognob.

(SCREAMS)

(CREATURE GRUNTING)

(MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

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