Due Date Page #4

-l'm sorry.

We're gonna be traveling.

It wouldn't hurt to get to know each other.

Okay.

Ethan, what brought you to Atlanta?

Business or pleasure?

My daddy died.

I went to Atlanta to go to his funeral.

Gee, I didn't know. l'm sorry.

He was a great guy, man.

That's why I'm heading out West.

He's the one that motivated me

to get on the TV.

-TV?

-Yeah.

Tough business to break into.

So competitive.

I have a friend, he's in that industry.

-Does he work on Two and a HalfMen?

-No. He--

That's too bad.

Because Two and a Half Men...

...is the reason I wanted

to become an actor.

-Right.

-Especially the second season.

PETER:

Here's the plan.

We are just outside Birmingham...

...and we got a late start, so we will

only make it just to inside Louisiana.

Early to bed, early to rise.

Long 1 6- to 1 8-hour haul,

which will land us in Phoenix, Arizona.

-Eight hours outside of L.A.

-You know what'd be nice?

If we could stop at the Grand Canyon.

We're not going to the Grand Canyon.

That would be easily 1 20 miles off

our optimum route.

That's too bad.

Daddy would've loved

the Grand Canyon.

Why do you even have this?

Oh, because this is my daddy.

These are his ashes.

Why are your father's ashes

in a coffee can, Ethan?

Because he's dead, Peter.

-l know. l know that part.

-Don't you listen to anything?

I'm just saying,

normal people put remains in an urn.

ETHAN:

This is vacuum-sealed.

You broke the seal

when you poured out the coffee.

You poured your father's remains in

and closed it. That didn't reseal it.

That's the dumbest thing

I've ever heard in my life.

[SNEEZES]

God. We shouldn't have come here.

I'm allergic to waffles.

ETHAN:

Come on, Sonny. Thank you.

We need to make a brief pit stop

in Birmingham.

Actually, our next stop is Shreveport.

That's where we rest.

-lt's 1 0 minutes away.

-Let's see if we can make it.

Why you making a pit stop in Birmingham?

We gotta make time.

I left my glaucoma medication

on the plane.

Wait, wait, wait. Your what?

You mean your weed?

-lt's medical marijuana, Peter.

-No, it's weed.

-Why do you make everything so dark?

-lt's weed.

I'm saying l really don't want to stop

and buy drugs. Is that okay?

I didn't want to play this card,

certainly not this early.

But guess what. Guess who's got

the Subaru lmpreza. Me.

Guess who's got all the money. Me.

Guess who's got

a winning personality. Me.

What do you have?

You have a nice hairline, fine.

You have a strong jaw, fine.

But l gotta tell you something, mister.

Your personality needs some work.

My God.

Now, do you want a ride

to California or not?

-Yes, please.

-Good. Hold Dad.

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