Drillbit Taylor Page #5

Watch this kid play Hendrix.

He really jams. Look at him.

Oh, yeah, there he goes.

Yeah, I like how he looks

a little bit like Hendrix.

Yeah! I'm gonna give him a buck.

- I'll give him a couple bucks.

- A buck? Give him a compliment, man!

Give me a buck!

Why is he in my house?

Are we trying to attract

after-school bullies?

I'm here because

Wade invited me to be here.

Because I'm your friend now.

This fantasy land you live in,

Emmit, are there rides?

Stop picking on him, all right?

This is our guy.

I don't want him to be our guy.

Well, the good news is, I think I found

a solution to our problems.

- Kill Emmit?

- No, bear with me.

This might sound stupid,

but I was on the Internet last night

and there's a bunch of sites where

we can hire a professional bodyguard.

- What do you mean by bodyguard?

- Like he beats up kids that bother us.

A bodyguard? Wade,

that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard.

We should just be men

and fight these kids!

Are you serious?

Of course not. I've never been in a fight.

Have you seen those

high school fights on YouTube?

Kids are brutal.

He gave us an earthquake

when we were peeing in the urinal.

He shoved me in a locker.

And he put my head in his shirt

and called us Siamese queers.

How's that funny?

It's not funny. It's just, it's rare that,

you know,

kids say things that surprise me.

Siamese queers.

I'd never heard that one.

- What would you like me to do?

- We really just want it to stop.

So are they pretty much free to say

whatever they want?

Or am I allowed to defend myself?

Oh, no. Principal Doppler,

I thought this was gonna be anonymous.

In this country, we give the accused

the chance to face his accusers.

Terry, come over here for a second,

will you?

Now we've known each other for...

Yeah, have a seat.

- What's your take on this?

- Hey, guys, hey. How's it going?

Be polite! There you go.

- Wade.

- Hi.

Hey, T-Dog. Give me a pound.

Yeah. Principal Doppler, sir,

I was really excited

about starting this new school year.

I'm not gonna lie.

Who knows?

I, maybe, was hazing them a little bit,

but I'm sorry.

I really am.

You know, I appreciate you taking

responsibility. It's refreshing.

- He doesn't mean it!

- We need to call his parents in.

- Now.

- He doesn't have any parents.

Well, not in this country, anyway.

They live in Hong Kong.

- He's an emancipated minor.

- What does that mean?

It means he's legally an adult.

He answers to no one.

He's above the law.

- What a nightmare, huh?

- Yeah.

Oh, crap.

Oh, no.

- Run.

- Go! Go!

- Run! Go, go!

- Hurry.

Wait for me!

Go, go!

- Do you think he sees us?

- No.

Open the door! Open the door!

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