Drillbit Taylor

Synopsis: Homeless veteran Bob 'Drillbit' Taylor manages to enjoy life anyhow and even saves some cash for his dream, an 'all-paid' move to Alaska, even if that may take many years. His dream comes within reach when clever nerd Wade, has fat friend Ryan 'T-dog' and cocky shrimp Jim, all new to high-school, are bullied so badly by emancipated Filkins and his buddies that they advertise for a bodyguard. Only Drillbit seems affordable and not crazy, so he's hired and drains their pocket-money and home content. He's clueless how to protect them but gives them (bogus) self-defense classes.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Steven Brill
Production: Paramount Pictures
  1 win & 2 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
110 min

Please enjoy the music

while your party is reached.

- Hello?

- So what do you think?

- About what?

- About tomorrow.

It's our first day of high school.

If we want to be popular,

we just have to be proactive.

Calm your proactive ass down.

Saying you want to be popular

guarantees it isn't gonna happen.

I'm gonna get a girlfriend.

You think that's possible?

Anything's possible, Wade.

Just don't be needy.

You got to let it come to you.

And one more thing.

From now on,

I don't want you calling me Ryan.

Call me T-Dog.

- T-Dog?

- Yep.

- What does the "T" stand for?

- I don't know.

- But it sounds better than R-Dog.

- Yeah.

You know, like, if a hot girl

went up to you, and she goes,

"Hey, have you met T-Dog?

Man, did you see what T-Dog did today?

"Man, that T-Dog is crazy!"

That sounds like a guy

every woman would want to know.

- Hey, do I need a nickname?

- You have one. Skeletor.

That was last year.

I look good now. I'm filling out.

All right, name one part of your body

that filled out, Wade.

Name one part of your body

that isn't filled out, huh?

I'm not trying to offend you.

I'm just saying you shot up too fast

and you're freakishly skinny.

Oh, yeah? Well, you're too fat

and that's equally unattractive.

- You wanna go there?

- I'm sorry.

It's just, I want things to go well,

you know?

- Sorry I said you're freakishly skinny.

- It's okay.

You just are.

Hey, go to sleep!

It's 3:
00 in the morning!

- What are you, crazy?

- Sorry.

- Is that your stepdad?

- No one.

- Give me that phone! Give it!

- It's...

You're in high school now.

Don't take his...

Go to sleep.

How about some

chicks on the walls in here?

It's like a nerd paradise.

Time to make the donuts.



We won! We won the game!

And Wade loses again!

- Get out of my room!

- Dad said get up.

He's not my dad. He's your dad.

Fine, the guy who does your mom

says get up.

- Just leave!

- Loser!

Morning, sunshine. First day of school.

- Mom!

- Oh, my God!

Since when did you start

sleeping naked?

I'm in high school now,

don't you remember?

I don't like elastic squeezing

on my ass when I sleep!


Hey! What are you doing

in this shower?

Dawn? Rachel, that's right.

Nice to see you.

Put your hands up

Put your hands up

I'm the best white rapper

you've ever seen

A hair!

- Oh, my God!

- Look at that.

Thank you, ladies!

What's up, winners? You stoked?

Pedal to the metal?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

All right. Who's a winner?

- I am!

- I am!


- Look at you, with your magic stick.

- What do you think?

Magic is stupid.

No, no, honey.

- Mom!

- What?

You forgot the sausages!

- I'll get the sausages.

- Come on. I'm hungry.

All right, I'll get the sausages.

Excuse me, listen,

I'm really sorry to bother you.

My family and I, we just ran out of gas

and we're trying to get to the kids

to SeaWorld.

And, I, like an idiot forgot my wallet.

If I can just...

- Your legs work okay?

- Yeah, why?

You should walk somewhere

and get a job.

- Harold...

- I'll take care of it.

That's what I have, a job.

We'll get to SeaWorld

one way or the other.

We're on our way to church.

Maybe that's where you ought to go.

Thank you. Have a great day.

- Can you help out a veteran?

- Not today.

- Get away from the car.

- Honey, roll up the window.

Get away!

- What's your name?

- Drillbit.

Listen, Drillbit, I wasn't born yesterday.

I don't want you using this on

any marijuana or rye whiskey, okay?

- You got my word on it.

- You know what?

- I'm gonna write "not for pot" on there.

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Kristofor Brown

Kristofor Brown is an American writer, producer, director and voice actor. He was head writer of MTV's Beavis and Butt-Head. He made his feature film writing debut for the 2008 comedy Drillbit Taylor, which he also co-produced. Brown is a graduate from the University of Wisconsin–Oshkosh where he was a member of Sigma Pi fraternity. He received an Outstanding Young Alumni Award from UW-Oshkosh in 1994. He did voice-over work on numerous Beavis and Butt-Head episodes, specials and the feature film Beavis and Butt-Head Do America. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Drillbit Taylor" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2022. Web. 4 Jul 2022. <https://www.scripts.com/script/drillbit_taylor_7285>.

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