Drillbit Taylor Page #3

who hug each other.

How was school, Wade?

We made so many friends,

I can't even remember all their names.

- Great! You got to be in it to win it.

- I am in it!

Great.

Yeah!

- Yeah.

- So school went well, huh?

Oh, it was great.

It couldn't have gone better.

It was the shirt, right?

I'll have to get you more of those.

Hey! What are you doing?

That's my stuff!

This is city property.

Nobody's supposed to be

camping out here.

Your stuff's in the dumpster

around the corner.

That's where I eat! You don't put

a man's belongings where he eats!

- My taxes pay for your salary.

- You don't pay taxes.

- You don't even have a job.

- What else you wanna remind me of?

That I don't have good health care?

That I don't belong to a good gym?

Where's the compassion?

Protect and serve. That's what it says.

- Compassion?

- Yeah, compassion.

You wanna know

what I have compassion for?

The homeless who are mentally ill,

the homeless who are drug-addicted.

Buddy, you're just a jackass.

Oh, guy hits a little bit of bump

in the road and he's a jackass?

Maybe I should go smoke some crack

and get your sympathy.

- Go back to the Village People!

- Back up!

Damn!

All right, today is the first day

of our high school careers.

Yes, it is.

There she is.

That's the girl who came up to me

at my locker.

- Well, make your move.

- What move? I don't have a move.

All right, thanks for signing up.

How're you doing?

Is this your first time signing up

for the Heritage Club?

- Yeah, it is. Okay, bye.

- Bye.

What'd you sign up for?

- Photography and Asian Heritage.

- Asian Heritage, huh?

- I like your commitment.

- Yeah.

- I like it a lot.

- Hey, buddies! Remember me?

- Hi.

- Oh, Jesus H.

Oh, God.

Guys, why aren't you wearing them?

- Why are you talking to us?

- I just wanted to say thank you

for helping me out yesterday and all.

You guys are definitely the type of

people I'm gonna want to hang out with.

- Yeah.

- Hi, I'm Emmit Oosterhaus, by the way.

- Hi.

- Wade. That's T-Dog.

T-Dog? Dude,

that's a really cool nickname.

Hey, can you guys give me a nickname?

We need to ditch this guy.

He's like a stray cat.

Once you feed him,

he'll never go away, okay?

Hey, no secrets, T-Dog.

I'm off to U.S. History.

- U.S. History.

- Hey, look!

The Siamese queers had a baby.

I guess that makes them triplets,

now doesn't it?

Well, actually,

we still wouldn't be triplets, see.

You see, they'd be my parents,

and I'd be the baby.

Don't get smart with me.

I said you're triplets and I think that

you guys need to get into his shirt

- and be triplets.

- We can do that.

You know what? Emmit, shut up.

Look, you really have to

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