Dirty Grandpa Page #4

And then early

dinner at 4:
00.

We have a long-standing

bet. Who's the better golfer.

Obviously I've got

the bigger 3-wood...

Good. Maybe you can use it

to hit your balls

right into my vagina.

- Holy sh*t!

- Okay, we're going inside now.

- Jesus!

- Let's go. That's enough.

- Bye, Professor.

- Thanks for lunch.

Peace!

- Nice girl.

- Yeah.

Well? How do I look?

Like the keynote speaker at

a buttfucking convention.

- What?

- What?

- What?

- What?

We're gonna write

in the first hole,

it's an easy par-4.

- No, no, no, no. Hey...

- Jump in.

This is against

the rules, Grandpa.

F*** the rules.

Jump in. Come on.

Not to mention,

a breach in golf etiquette.

Beep, beep,

beep, beep, beep!

- Hey!

- Out of my way, buttfuckers!

Really? What are you doing?

We gotta get this guy

to his buttfucking convention.

What are you

trying to do, man?

What was that all about?

Hey. Now there's

a million-dollar swing!

I'm sorry!

You can go in front of us

if you want to.

We are not very good.

No, it's a good cut,

you're just not bending

your knees enough.

I'm a licensed golf pro.

You mind if I show you?

Yes, please.

Maybe bend over

a little bit... Here.

That feels about right,

doesn't it?

Hands on my shaft...

The shaft.

Let me just get

my finger in there.

One, two, three...

My God! Did you see that?

Thank you!

How long have you

been teaching golf?

Ever since I retired

from being an astronaut.

It's nice to see some heavenly

bodies around here too.

Hey, Grandpa,

don't you think we should

probably start golfing soon...

What the f***?

Wanna be a lamb

and get that for me?

Did he just

call you "Grandpa"?

Who, Pepe?

He's a retard.

Got it pretty bad, too.

He thinks I'm his grandpa.

He usually sits at home just

drawing dolphins all day.

We used to let him

out on his own,

but the raping got so bad

that we just...

Got it.

- You guys want a refill?

- Sure.

Absolutely!

BRB!

I'm sorry about

my grandpa.

He's...

He's not doing too well.

My grandma just passed and

the funeral was yesterday.

I'm actually a lawyer,

not a retard.

I handle of lot

of important issues.

SEC compliance,

LLC agreements. LP agreements.

That sort of stuff.

Yeah, well, I think

we're gonna get going.

- Nice to meet you, Pepe.

- Nice...

F***!

What happened?

Why are they going?

What did you do?

What? I told

them the truth.

I told them that I'm getting

married next week,

and you're not well

because your wife just died.

What are you,

f***ing vagina repellent?

Those cougars

wanted to party!

- They wanted to party?

- Yes!

Do you hear yourself?

Grandpa, are you kidding

me right now? Grandma...

I'm trying

to listen to myself.

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