
Dirty Grandpa
- R
- Year:
- 2016
- 102 min
- $34,690,808
- 2,715 Views
So I said,
"If opposing counsel's
"invoking fiduciary
liability precedent
"under the terms of
Landgraf v. Henson,
"Your Honor, please,
by all means, go ahead,
"rescind the plaintiff's
de facto petition
"for injunctive relief."
- It was fun. It was fun.
- Yeah.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I'll be right back.
So funny.
"Injunctive relief."
What's up, Nick?
Fucking sucks dick
about Grandma?
Yeah.
Old woman fucking
murdered like that.
Nick, she had cancer.
We'll never
know the truth.
- We absolutely know the truth.
- Yeah.
Grandma had cancer
for 10 years.
You don't just die
from cancer, Jason!
Calm down...
I'll see you at the
crossroads, Grandma.
What are you doing? Are you kidding me?
Right now?
Hey, get your
shit together!
My dad and my fiancee
are literally standing
right next to us.
- Beyonce's here?
- No.
What is that?
- What are you doing?
- I'm just...
Are you fucking
high right now?
No, this isn't...
- You're high as a kite!
- It's an e-cigarette.
It's filled
with a little weed,
but it's an e-cigarette.
Grow up, man!
What are you doing?
"Grow up"?
How adult are you?
What, do you listen
to NPR in your Volvo?
You play racquetball
competitively
against business
associates?
No. No.
You ever go away
to a rented house
with other couples
and then play Scattergories
Jason.
I just blew a shot at
your grandma's memory.
Poor Grandpa...
Our first reading
is from Deuteronomy 30:19.
"This day I call
the heavens and the earth
"...that I have set before you
life and death..."
Hey, babe, I found the tie
you're going to wear
to the rehearsal
brunch Sunday.
Do you like the coral
color or the salmon?
"...that the race
is not to the swift..."
Either one.
"...nor the battle
to the strong."
Babe, what's wrong?
Coral or salmon?
Well, what do you like?
I mean...
I like the coral.
That's what
I was going to say, too.
- Okay, cool. Okay.
- Okay.
Coral it is!
It's going to be
a special day.
"...now choose life,
"so that you
and your children shall live."
Anyway, I'm down
I opened up
a fucking pet shop...
Not pet shop,
"puppy mill."
Puppy mill...
You know, designer dogs
get a bad name,
but they can go
Really?
It's just hard
to get them to mate.
Because the little dogs,
they don't wanna
f*ck the big dogs,
and the big dogs, they don't
wanna f*ck the little dogs...
So I gotta manually
do it, you know.
I gotta spread
So, what's up with you?
Well, I'm keeping
pretty busy...
Cool.
Hey, Diane,
- how's it going?
- Hi, Nick.
Hey, Nick.
I just don't understand
why you have
to drive down to Florida
tomorrow already, Dad!
We just had the funeral.
Your grandmother
and I were there
at this time
every year.
It's what
she would have wanted.
I'd drive down myself,
except they took
my license away.
But why does Jason have
to be the one to drive you?
He's so busy at work...
Got the wedding
coming up next weekend,
the rehearsal brunch.
You know, the entire law
firm is coming to this.
- It's true, Grandpa.
- Jason...
We have a lot of stuff,
Meredith and I...
I'll handle it.
Go ahead.
Dad?
Why doesn't Nick do it?
We got this chocolate Lab
down at the store
that is just so horny,
every time I touch
the back of its ear,
it just gushes cum.
- Okay.
- I mean, like a squirting...
Is that your dog?
Nick isn't
legally allowed
to leave the state
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"Dirty Grandpa" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 16 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/dirty_grandpa_6956>.