Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Page #4

Hey, guys. So this guy says to that guy,

"You wanna come over and play?"

Yeah! Do you guys wanna play with us?

(BO YS LAUGHING)

See? This is the problem.

Right now I have to take abuse

from these morons.

But in 20 years,

Quentin here will be working for me.

Greg, please don't fire me.

I really need my measly, pathetic job

scooping your dog's poop.

Whatever. I'll think about it.

No, no, no. Vanilla on the bottom

and chocolate on the top!

I can't eat this!

"Play," Rowley? "Play"?

I've told you, like, a billion times that

guys our age say "hang out," not "play."

Oops.

Seriously, if you're not gonna listen to me,

just tell me,

'cause if you pull another stunt like that,

we'll be stuck on the cafeteria floor

for the rest of middle school.

I found half a Snickers bar down there.

I can't be the guy who eats off his lap

in the cafeteria.

I should be

at the top of the food chain by now.

Something's got to change, fast.

My mom told me to just be myself

and people would like me.

That would be good advice

if you were somebody else.

(LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey, little brother.

Was your first day as crappy

as I said it would be?

No. Not at all. You were wrong.

- It was actually better than I...

- Worse.

(CHUCKLES)

You didn't listen to me, did you?

I told you not to talk, look

or go anywhere, and what happened?

He had to eat his lunch on the floor.

- Rowley.

- (LAUGHING) Perfect.

And if nobody wants you

sitting at their table,

you think they want

Chummy Buttons over here?

I was right. You're not even gonna

make it out of there alive.

The only chance you have

of making the yearbook is

when they dedicate it to your memory.

So you wanna play Twisted Wizard?

No. I have a better idea.

If he catches you in here, he will kill you.

Literally, kill you.

Don't worry.

As long as we hear the music, we're okay.

(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

Whoa. Yeah. Wow.

I didn't know Rodrick

was into motorcycles.

- I found it.

- Found what?

Rodrick's middle school yearbook.

This thing holds all the answers.

Rowley, this thing is like a bible.

See this? This is where

a person like me needs to be.

The class favorites.

They're the best in their class.

These people aren't nobodies.

They're famous.

They don't have to worry about

getting a seat in the cafeteria, either.

Check this out.

There's tons of things I qualify for.

"Most Likely To Succeed," "Best Looking,"

"Class Clown."

They should just

give that to me right now.

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