
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid
RODRICK:
(WHISPERING) Greg?GREG:
(GROGGILY) Mmm.- (IN SINGSONG) Greg?
- What?
- Greg!
- Huh? What?
What are you doing? Get up!
Mom and Dad have been calling you
for an hour.
You're about to be late for
your first day of middle school.
What?
Oh, geez! How did that happen?
Go, go, go! Mom's about to flip out!
She sent me to get you
while she waits in the car!
(EXCLAIMS)
What are you doing? What's going on?
Getting ready for...
(HOOTING)
...school.
Are you insane?
School doesn't start till next week.
And, FYI, school doesn't start
at 4:
00 in the morning!You woke up Manny.
And if he doesn't go back down...
Good morning!
There is no way he is going back down.
I just wanted to sleep till 6:00.
- Bubby!
- FRANK:
Go to bed. I got him.Greg, what are you doing up
making all this noise?
It was Rodrick! He woke me up!
He changed my clock!
(SNORING)
- But I swear, he was just...
- Go to bed.
What is that smell? I can't even identify it.
Bubby!
(GRUNTS)
(GIGGLING)
KIDS:
Happy Birthday!Here, Bubby.
GREG:
Wow! Look at the sizeof that flamethrower!
Okay, first of all,
let me get something straight.
This is a journal, not a diary.
Yeah, I know what it says on the cover.
But when my mom went out
to buy this thing,
I specifically told her
not to buy one that said "diary" on it.
This just proves Mom doesn't understand
anything about kids my age.
- GREG:
Huh?- Sissy!
write in this thing is because
when I'm rich and famous
than answer people's stupid questions
all day long.
Gregory, tell us about your childhood!
Were you always so smart and handsome?
Here's my journal. Now, shoo, shoo.
SUSAN:
That's our boy up there.Why did I ever say no to him?
Mom got me this thing
so I could write down my feelings
But I'm gonna be fine.
It's my best friend, Rowley Jefferson,
I'm worried about.
He's definitely not middle school ready.
Geronimo!
(WHOOPS)
He's not quite clear
I want a puppy, a kitty,
a gumball machine...
But anyway, this is about me, not Rowley.
I always figured
they'd make a movie about my life.
But I didn't think
Because, seriously,
who wants to see a movie about a kid
with a bunch of morons?
(ALARM BUZZING)
(GROANS)
(RODRICK EXCLAIMING)
Three days, no shower. Smell the love!
Let me go, Rodrick!
(GROANS)
Come on.
We're just having some fun, right?
No, okay. So, look.
Mom asked me to give you some advice
about middle school.
It's real simple.
Don't talk to anyone. Don't look at anyone.
Don't go anywhere.
Don't sit down. Don't raise your hand.
Don't go to the bathroom.
Don't get noticed.
Don't choose the wrong locker. Don't...
Who am I kidding?
You'll be dead or homeschooled
by the end of the year, anyway.
And don't be seen with Rowley.
(EXCLAIMING)
Manny, stop it! Mom!
RODRICK:
Thanks for the eggs, Mom.- Frank?
- Greg?
I think it's gross and undignified
that I have to eat breakfast
next to him on the potty.
Okay, well, it's your fault
Don't look down, Manny.
The potty monster doesn't like it
when you look at him.
(SCREAMS)
I was just joking with him.
Okay. Kiss him you're sorry
and then let's get a move on.
Can't be late for your first day of school.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
GREG:
Let me just say for the recordthat I think middle school may be
the dumbest idea ever invented.
You got kids like me
(4.31 / 16 votes)
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"Diary Of A Wimpy Kid" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 8 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/diary_of_a_wimpy_kid_6879>.