Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Page #3

between child and teenager

so they don't even have to look at you.

Hi. I'm Angie.

Great story. We're gonna go now.

Why? This is a good spot.

It's a perfect spot.

I survived all of the sixth grade here.

And I would enjoy

some like-minded company

to get me through the seventh.

Is that the whistle?

I think I hear the whistle.

We need to go.

MALONE:
No showboating, all right?

Why are we leaving?

We could get killed out here in the open!

Put your shirt on.

They'll think we're on their team.

Besides, getting crushed is better than

being seen with that freak job.

Trust me, you can't recover

from social suicide.

I never talked to a girl that long before.

Whoa!

Check that out.

Is that cheese?

Stop!

Good God, man!

You almost got the Cheese Touch!

- The what?

- The Cheese Touch.

Nobody knows when or how,

but one day that cheese

mysteriously appeared on the blacktop.

Nobody knew who it belonged to.

Nobody touched it. Nobody threw it away.

And so there it sat,

growing more foul

and powerful by the day.

Then one day, a kid named Darren Walsh

made the biggest mistake of his life.

Darren touched the cheese!

No, I didn't! I just looked at it! Really!

- (ALL SCREAMING)

- CHIRAG:
Darren had the Cheese Touch!

It was worse than nuclear cooties!

- He became an outcast!

- (CRYING)

The only way to get rid of the Cheese Touch

was by passing it on to someone else.

(SCREAMS)

And so began the Cheese Touch Frenzy!

Friend turning on friend!

Brother turning on sister!

It was madness!

Until a German exchange student

named Dieter Muller took it away.

Dieter has the Cheese Touch!

Ze Cheese Touch?

Vat is it?

Vat does it mean, ze Cheese Touch?

Sadly for Dieter,

that fact was lost in translation.

No...!

Thankfully, he moved back to Dusseldorf

and took the Cheese Touch with him.

And so the cheese sits,

patiently waiting for its next victim.

- Wow!

- Wow!

This is a terrible place.

- No doors?

- None.

I'm not pooping until I'm in high school.

GREG:
The cafeteria,

possibly the cruelest place on Earth.

But I was about to make some kid's day

by sitting next to him.

That seat's saved.

For who?

It's saved.

That one's saved, too.

So not happening.

Uh-uh-uh.

Taken.

Where are we supposed to eat?

I guess this is

where all the cool guys hang out.

(SNEEZES)

Fregley must have bumped his head

when he was little, like, really hard.

(BURPS)

Okay, okay,

so my first day could have gone better,

but at least I wasn't humiliated.

Hey, Greg!

You want to come over and play?

(KIDS LAUGHING)

What did he just say to you?

Oh.

I think my ride's here.

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