Delivery Man Page #5

You're a barista.

Would it be possible

to act in a polite manner?

What the hell are you talking about?

I'm talking about a little "please"

and "thank you."

- A little thank you.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

Is that not considered cool

by your generation anymore?

Who the hell are you, man?

I'm just saying if you

smiled a little more,

maybe there would be

more people in here.

If you want to be a waiter...

Well, there's the thing.

I don't want to be a waiter.

I'm an actor.

I am an actor missing the opportunity

of a lifetime right now.

And you, because you give me

three bucks and a quarter,

you want me to smile?

You want me to smile when I am

totally pissing away my life?

It doesn't have to be a big smile.

Okay.

Have a nice day.

Good afternoon.

I'll take care of the coffee shop.

Yes or no?

Customers come in sometimes.

It isn't always empty.

I can't leave you with the shop.

But it's the role of a lifetime.

Yeah, and how do I know

you won't just walk off with the cash?

You can leave with my truck full of meat.

And why would you do this?

Satisfaction of knowing

that you helped someone

make something of themself.

Bring it back without a scratch.

Okay. People might come in.

I can figure out

how to make a cup of coffee.

All right. Okay.

Thanks.

It is total chaos

in the meat market today, David.

And you decide to disappear?

In the whole family business,

you know you've got

the easiest job, right?

And in spite of having the simplest job,

you manage to do the job badly!

It's like every day you find a new way

to push back the frontiers

of incompetence!

There are only two components

to your chosen occupation.

Get meat, deliver meat.

That's not what I ordered.

It's free.

Take it, it's free.

You're no longer a "deliverer."

You're more of a "keeper."

Why is our truck still full of meat? Why?

Why have you only taken

our meat out for a drive?

- Yeah?

- I'll have...

Tell me who you are

before I call the cops.

I'm the waiter.

I'm the owner.

I do the hiring here.

Josh got called in

for the audition of a lifetime.

Fine. He can look for another job, then.

Sir, it was the audition of a lifetime.

That's not the problem.

What's the problem?

He's not a good actor.

He has never been cast.

Never.

He's a good kid, but he's wasting his life.

He's fired.

Look, this whole thing was my idea.

So, I guess it's your fault

if he can't pay his rent.

I lost my job?

You lost your job.

I got the part.

You got the part?

Yeah, they loved me.

You got the part?

As of today, I'm an actor.

- Congratulations, man!

- Thanks.

Thanks, man. Thanks.

Wow!

I knew it!

I knew you were gonna bail on me.

How the hell am I

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes