Delivery Man

Synopsis: David Wozniak is a man who is irresponsible and unreliable which doesn't exactly endear him to his family and his girlfriend. And when she tells him that she's pregnant, she tells him, she plans to do it on her own because she can't count on him. One day a lawyer shows up and talks to him about the fact that twenty years ago he was a sperm donor for about a year and his sperm was used to father over 500 children. And now over 100 of them want to know who he is but because he signed a confidentiality agreement, they can't be told who he is. So they are going to court to try to get the confidentiality set aside. His lawyer tells him that they can win this. But when the lawyer who saw him gives him info on the ones who want to see him, he takes a peek at one and decides to go see him and not tell him he's the father. He then goes out and checks out some of his other children and doesn't tell them who he is and connects with them. His lawyer tells him it could jeopardize their case, especi
Genre: Comedy, Drama
Director(s): Ken Scott
Production: Walt Disney Pictures
Rotten Tomatoes:
105 min

In many ways,

they'll miss the good old days

Someday, someday

Yeah, it hurts to say

But I want you to stay

Sometimes, sometimes

Oh, my ex says I'm lacking in depth

I will do my best

You say you wanna stay by my side

Darlin', your head's not right

See, alone we stand

Together we fall apart

Yeah, I think I'll be all right

- Hey, David.

- Hey, Joey.

Your brother's looking for you.

- Hey.

- Hey, David.

Where the hell were you?

- Did you take the truck home again?

- Yeah.

Pop asked you not to use the meat truck

for personal purposes.

- Hi, Mom.

- But you did it anyway?


- Do you have the jerseys for tonight?

- Yes.

No, no, no, seriously.

Do you have the jerseys for tonight?

- Yes. Yes, sweetheart, yes.

- Aleksy, hang up.

Yeah, sweetheart.

I should never have gotten

this woman pregnant.

Do not procreate, David.

Reproduction is a very bad idea.

Do not reproduce, ever.

Hey, I'm sorry.

To pay back some money that I owe,

I've built a little hydroponic greenhouse

in my apartment.

You're... You're growing pot?

And you're the only person

I know with a green thumb.

- And you want me to grow pot?

- Yeah.

Right. Absolutely.

That is the one thing missing for me

right now to achieve total happiness.

Getting into a drug ring.

Because the pressure of my wife

calling me every three minutes

because she's about to give birth

to my first child isn't intense enough.

How much do you owe?

- Eighty.

- "Eighty"?

- Eighty thousand.

- Eighty thousand?

When you say it with that face,

it does make it seem like a lot.

How do you get yourself

into these situations, David?


What happened?

How do you owe someone $80,000?

I borrowed money to invest in Newteoh.

- That is a pyramid scheme.

- It is not a pyramid scheme.

- The guy was arrested!

- Those charges were unrelated!

- He was arrested!

- David.

You know, David, I love you like a son.

I am your son.

Which is why I love you like a son.

But if you don't have our new jerseys

for tonight's game...

I have the jerseys.

You gotta have the jerseys.

It's the team picture.

I have the jerseys.

He won't have the jerseys.

Come on, come on.

WOMAN". Your loan has been denied.

But if I don't get the $80,000,

there's people that are

gonna come and drown me.

Can you please put that down

on your little form,

that there's people

that are gonna come drown me?

You do not have

the necessary collateral.

That is why we're not

gonna give you any money.

Basically, then, you're just

a big goddamn pawn shop.

No, we're not a pawn shop.

You're a pawn shop with fancy furniture.

And for all these reasons,

I have to turn down your application.

I'm very sorry.

All right. I understand.

This is a hold-up.

Excuse me?

I said, "All right. I understand."

This is a hold-up, a**hole.

- Excuse me, you just said something.

- No.

- Just then, you said something.

- No.

I'm here. I'm David Wozniak.

I'm here to pick up my jerseys.

- I've been waiting for you.

- I know! I know!

I'm so sorry,

but my team photo is tonight.

The whole team has to

have their jerseys,

it's for the whole year.

- All right already!

- Thank you so much.

I really do appreciate it.


- A bag?

- No.

Rolling papers?

I grow tomatoes.

Hey! It's a delivery truck!

I'm making a delivery.

You're kidding me, right?

Yes. I swear I have the jerseys,

on our mother's...

Yes! On our mother's grave.

The jerseys are with me

in the truck as we speak.

Hey! Come on, stop! Hey! Hey!

You got my jerseys!

- I know it's late.

- Yes, it is.

But you brought me

such beautiful flowers.

I did.

And Mr. Bernstein takes

such great care of them.

Where have you been, David?

Emma, I'm sorry.

I was trying to pay back

some money that I owe.

I understand,

but why can't you call or text?

And why can't I come

to your apartment anymore?

I never said

you couldn't come to my place.

- Are you hiding something?

- Nothing.

You're sure you're not hiding

anything in your apartment.


I'm pregnant.

That's great.


- Emma...

- No.

You know what? I can...

I can do this on my own.

What do you mean, "on your own"?

I want a child, okay?

But I don't want a father

who just disappears

because he gets too busy.

You're unreliable.

I mean, you've got...

You've got money problems.

You basically don't have a life.

This is not a life.

- I have a life.

- You don't have a life.

People who have a life do not ring

pregnant women's doorbells

at 3:
00 in the morning.

I didn't know you were pregnant.

David, you would know.

If you just called me

every once in a while.

I guess...

I guess at first, for a second there,

I was in shock.

I mean, you know, it was a shock.

But then, you know, the...

That feeling of fear went away,

and I got this feeling

that this could be the most beautiful

thing that ever happened to me.

Stevie, no. Hey, Stevie, no!

Hey, it's 3:
00 in the morning.

Go back to bed. Go back to bed.

Back to bed. Not in the sandbox.

Hey, where are you going?

No, don't go in the sandbox.

Not in the sandbox!

You gotta talk Emma

into getting an abortion.

- What?

- You have to.

How could you say such a thing?

How can you say stuff like that

in front of your children?

My children know that

they're too old to be aborted.

I'm realizing that I might want a kid.

You are a free man.

You do not want kids.

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Ken Scott

Ken Scott (born 20 April 1947) is a British record producer and engineer widely known for being one of the five main engineers for The Beatles, as well as engineering Elton John, Pink Floyd, Procol Harum, Mahavishnu Orchestra, Duran Duran, The Jeff Beck Group and many more. As a producer, Scott is noted for his work with David Bowie (on Hunky Dory, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, Aladdin Sane and Pinups), Supertramp (Crime of the Century and Crisis? What Crisis?), Devo, Kansas, The Tubes, Ronnie Montrose on Gamma 1, Level 42, among others. Scott was also very influential in the evolution of jazz rock, pioneering a harder rock sound through his work with Mahavishnu Orchestra (Birds of Fire, Visions of the Emerald Beyond and The Lost Trident Tapes), Stanley Clarke (Stanley Clarke, Journey to Love and School Days), Billy Cobham (Spectrum, Crosswinds, Total Eclipse and Shabazz), Dixie Dregs (What If and Night of the Living Dregs), and Jeff Beck (There and Back). Originally from South London, Scott resided in Los Angeles from 1976 to 2013, then relocated to Nashville. In 2016, Scott and his wife, Cheryl, moved to Hampsthwaite, North Yorkshire, in the UK. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Delivery Man" STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 17 Jun 2024. <>.

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