Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Page #3

CHUCK:

It's gonna be a game show.

I believe there's

a great future in game shows.

DEBBIE:
Oh. That's good.

CHUCK:
Yeah. Everyone

loves game shows. Right?

DEBBIE:
I don't know.

CHUCK:
Well. They do.

DEBBIE:

Well. That's great. Then.

CHUCK:
Ha ha ha.

I'm on my way.

[Sighs]

PENNY:
Hello.

Hi.

[Breathes in]

CHUCK:
Uh... don't be alarmed.

I'm here with Debbie.

Yeah, I figured that.

Hungry?

Um, no, thanks.

PENNY:
Thirsty?

Sure, if you have a beer or...

How was sex with Debbie?

I always wanted to know.

It was good. Fine.

Thanks for asking.

No problem.

I just got f***ed

by this drummer cat...

a real righteous Negro hipster.

Heh. Interesting.

I'm into

the brotherhood of man.

I f***ed an Oriental last week.

- What are you?

- Jew.

I had one of those once,

but he was Sephardic.

[Mispronounces]

You look Ashke-nazi.

- Ashkenazi.

- Right, Ashke-nazi.

I haven't had one of those yet.

You're romantic.

Yeah. I just don't get

into all the bullshit...

between cats and chicks.

- I know what you mean.

- You know what I mean?

Besides, you just give

your heart to one cat...

and you get hurt.

Don't I know it?

PENNY:

We could ball if you want.

[Both laugh]

CHUCK:
Whoa-ho-ho.

That would be good.

Yeah, but... ha ha ha!

I'm here with Debbie.

It doesn't seem right.

[Laughing]

That's true.

I didn't think of that.

Well, I'm going to bed.

It was nice meeting you.

Hey, what's your name?

I'm Penny.

I'm Chuck.

- Chuck Barris.

- Yeah.

Yeah, you wrote

that Palisades song.

- I really like that song.

- Oh, thanks.

Yeah, it's real sentimental

bullshit.

CHUCK:
Oh, right.

["Palisades Park" playing]

# Last night

I took a walk after dark #

# A swingin' place

called Palisades Park #

# To have some fun

and see what I could see #

# That's where

the girls are #

# I took a hide

on the shoot-the-chute #

# That girl I sat beside

was awful cute #

# After it stopped,

she was holding hands with me #

# My heart was flyin' up #

# Like a rocket ship #

# Down. Like a roller coaster #

# Back. Like a loop-the-loop #

# And around,

like a merry-go-round #

# We ate and ate

at a lot dog stand #

# We danced around

to a rockin' band #

# And when I could.

I gave that girl a hug #

# In the Tunnel of Love #

# You'll never know

low great a kiss can feel #

# When you stop at the top

of a Ferris wheel #

# When I fell in love #

# Down at Palisades Park #

# Whoa-oh-oh-oh #

[People at park scream]

[Song fades out]

PENNY:
Last night

in my dream...

PENNY:
Last night

in my dream...

this ape and I are sitting

staring at each other...

and it was. Like,

across time and evolution.

And then he started talking...

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