
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
[Traffic sounds]
I wouldn't want
to live his life...
'cause he hasn't been happy
all of his life.
All I think is, if you can
find work, stay healthy...
find somebody to share it with,
you're the ultimate success.
He's had some of the pieces
of the puzzle...
but not all of them.
BURGER:
"I, Ronald Reagan,do solemnly swear..."
REAGAN:
I, Ronald Reagan,do solemnly swear...
BURGER:
"That I will faithfullyexecute the office...
"of President of
the United States."
That I will faithfully
execute the office...
[Tone blares]
[Cartoon music playing]
BARRIS:
When you're young,your potential is infinite.
You might
do anything. Nearly.
You might be Einstein...
you might be DiMaggio.
Then you get to an age
when what you might be...
gives way
to what you have been.
You weren't Einstein.
You weren't anything.
That's a bad moment.
[Knock on door]
Chuck, it's Pen.
[Peephole opens]
CHUCK:
Hey, Jesus.How'd you find me?
You wrote me your last letter
on hotel stationery.
CHUCK:
Oh. It's greatto see you, Pen.
You look... you look beautiful.
PENNY:
This place is scary.CHUCK:
Yeah. The human psyche.PENNY:
I came to take you backto California with me.
CHUCK:
Uh, no...PENNY:
It's a lonely statewithout you.
CHUCK:
I'm home, Red.I can't wait forever
for you to marry me.
Well, apparently, I can,
but I really don't want to.
CHUCK:
Uh...PENNY, CRYING:
I love you so much.
PENNY:
You don't understand.I don't even know why.
CHUCK:
Oh, Penny...Penny, Penny, Penny.
[Laughs]
[Sighs]
[Chuck closes peephole]
CHUCK:
Listen. I gotta go. OK?I'm kind of busy right now. OK?
BARRIS:
It was 1981...in this New York hotel...
the Phoenix Hotel...
terrified of everything,
ashamed of my life.
Until. Finally,
I realized my salvation...
might be in recording
my wasted life unflinchingly.
[Typing]
Maybe it would serve
as a cautionary tale...
understand why.
When I was 11,
I had an experience...
with my sister's friend
Tuvia...
that left
an indelible impression.
- Hey.
- What?
- Tuvia.
- What?
You want to lick it?
[Scoffs]
No. Why should I?
Well, for one thing,
it tastes like strawberry.
you love strawberries.
Yeah, well,
I hate strawberries.
CHUCK:
No, I'm serious.a strawberry lollipop.
TUVIA:
Look,I know that's not true.
- Well, I bet you it does.
- I bet you it doesn't.
CHUCK:
I'll bet you a dollar.BARRIS:
Tuvia... my first love.[Typing]
Perhaps my whole life
turned at that point.
The repulsiveness
of my sex confirmed...
by the taste buds
of a rippening pubescent girl.
What are you doing?
Get off me!
And so I found myself...
in a downward spiral
of debauchery...
endlessly chasing pussy.
[Doo wop music playing]
[Loud kissing]
My only focus in life
to get laid. To get blown...
tying to fool myself
into believing...
that given
the right combination...
of circumstances
and deception...
maybe the Tuvias
of the world...
could desire me
the way I desired them.
[Thwack]
I only wanted to be loved.
[Moans softly]
CHUCK:
No...[Sobbing]
# Won't you tell me why #
# I love #
[Zips pants]
# That girly so #
[Kissing]
# She doesn't want me #
BARRIS:
The constantinarticulate rage...
led to bar fight
after bar fight.
[Faint laughter]
TV ANNOUNCER:
New Yorkis a city of people...
the only state
in the union to stretch...
from the Atlantic Ocean
to the Great Lakes.
Directly across the avenue is...
you're right again.
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Citation
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"Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 4 Mar. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/confessions_of_a_dangerous_mind_5861>.