Colin Quinn: The New York Story Page #5

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No, okay. Ill take it.

The fire department started in 1845.

They said, We need guys

that are willing to run into flames

and drag souls out

of the torments of hell,

and then sit around, 12 of you,

and have supper together every night.

Theyre like, Ive seen that picture

my whole life. Id love to do it.

The police department

started the same time.

They said, We need you to find people,

drag em to a small, dark room,

smack em into confession...

until they absolve themselves

of punishment.

Theyre like, They did that to me

my whole life. Ill do that to people.

When people say,

Why were all the New York cops Irish?

Cause the police academy

was Catholic school.

Nobody likes to admit it,

but a good cop should have

the listening skills of a good bartender

and the unpredictable violence of a nun.

-Now... So...

The Irish...

Theres still an Irish vibe.

Like, you can tell when

you compliment somebody from New York,

the Irish influence.

You're like, Nice haircut.

They're like, F*** you,

whats wrong with it?

You're like, "No."

I said it was nice.

I know what you meant.

So the Irish ran New York

for about 40 years.

Then 1880, the Jews show up.

And... I think its safe to say most

of the Jews have not physically recovered

from their boat trip.

Theyre still...

Somethin about that boat. Theyre still

kind of seasick if you talk to them.

Its genetically passed down

over the generations.

A little nauseous. How was the trip?

It was hot. Thats how it was.

The Jews were the only immigrant group

that wanted to be checked

for tuberculosis at Ellis Island.

Every other groups like,

Dont let em touch me

with a stethoscope. Theyll send me home.

The Jews are like, Excuse me.

You missed this whole section.

Im wondering why.

Youre supposed to be a doctor.

They love their doctor.

They came and they worked

the sweatshops when they came over.

They had to work--

All the sweatshops were all Jews.

They were the earliest union organizers.

They started all the unions.

Cause I guarantee

somebody must have said,

We need volunteers to complain

about conditions. Is there any--"

Every hand shot up. I was gonna

do it anyway. Make it official.

And...

The Jews dont even consider it complaint.

Theyre just inquiring

why you would do it that way

when there might be an alternative.

Cause they...

They came here to not talk.

Remember, theyre like, Dont talk.

The pogroms of Europe traumatized--

But after a couple of months,

it drove them crazy.

I just wanna ask one question.

If they tell me to shut up, Ill shut up.

And they looked around, you know.

Were not gonna get civil servant jobs.

The Irish have those locked down.

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