ChickLit Page #3

portrayed by the author,

but certainly an appropriate

modern screen interpretation.

That Colin firth is really hot.

- He's a posh plonker.

- And you're not?

Moving on from these

sophisticated appraisals

of Mr. firth's

acting ability,

what I'm trying to convey,

is that despite the lake scene,

the makers of that adaptation

generally chose to reflect

Jane Austen's ability

to infuse her narratives

with a subtle eroticism,

which is all the more

effective by not being overt.

Sir, there's an erotic version

of "pride and prejudice"

on the Internet.

Have you read it?

I'd rather Pierce

my tired old eyes.

Colin firth's in the

"Bridget Jones" films.

I'm sure he is.

Can we return to the subject?

Would it be fair to say

that Helen Fielding's

no different

from Jane Austin, sir?

Monstrously unfair,

I should think.

Your point being?

Page one.

"It is a truth universally

acknowledged that a single man

in possession of a good fortune,

must be in want

of a wife."

Elizabeth Bennet

wants to be married,

despite how she behaves

to Mr. Darcy,

so does Bridget Jones

to Mr. Darcy.

- Nothing's changed really.

- Well, that's a good point,

except that miss fielding cannot

be compared to Jane Austen.

Well, actually, sir,

the first book was meant

as an homage to Austen.

Fielding's funny,

and so is Austen,

and there's nothing really

erotic in either book.

Not when she's wearing

those scary knickers.

[Chattering]

Now that's enough.

I believe miss fielding

is the purveyor

of what is termed

"CHICKLIT."

Jane Austen wrote great lit,

as we will now

set about discovering.

Sir, it's "mummy porn" now.

Mummy what?

Mummy porn, sir.

Bondage, s&m, you know.

I most certainly don't know,

nor do I wish to.

Sir, you always tell us

there's no room for ignorance

in literary analysis,

surely you should read

some of this stuff

before dismissing it.

If someone held

a gun to my head,

I would refuse.

And if I discover

any of you young ladies

sampling this

revolting expression

of 21st-century

decadence,

I should have

to retire immediately.

Now, "pride and prejudice."

Do you have

"she came in chains"?

I can't seem to find it

on the shelves.

I don't know.

Well, could you check, please?

Well, I could, but, Diana,

it's really not a good book.

I don't want a good book.

I have hundreds of good books.

I want to read,

"she came in chains."

And if you're not interested

in selling it to me

I'll buy it on Amazon,

which is probably

what I should have done

in the first place.

Diana, please,

we do not use the "a" word

in our little emporium.

Anything I can help you with?

Marcus, here, seems to

think it's his duty

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