ChickLit Page #2

I don't know.

But I'm damned

if I'm gmng up now

after everything

I've done to get here.

See what you can dig up

about these vegetable wars.

Pardon the pun.

Might be a story there,

like that mad butcher

and his football team-

colored sausages.

Must go, Anna WINTOUR'S here.

If I was Anna Wintour

it's unlikely I'd have someone

who looks like you

working for me.

Fair point. And it's always

delightful to see you.

Good, because I've trekked

all the way up

to your little fiefdom

to give you some nice news.

Oh, in that case, take the

weight off your feet.

Darren!

Coffee for Claire.

She's brought nice news.

Now, as you know,

the online channel

has done better than expected,

so in preparation for

the full broadcast offering

later in the year,

I've decided to introduce

a weekly cultural show.

Good luck.

Tell me, David, do you feel

challenged in this job?

Every day

is a challenge, Claire.

Today, for example,

is karat price fixing.

Because I think we should

encourage your interest

in literature and the arts

before you become irredeemably

cynical and jaded.

I want you to host the new show.

But I've never done

anything like that before.

Good. A fresh voice.

And let's face it, David,

you're pretty fond

of the sound of your own voice.

Assuming I'm faintly interested,

how will it work technically?

Ah, just the person.

I take it you know how to operate

your camera in video mode?

Of course. In fact,

I've been doing...

Yes, I'm sure you have.

So, that's fixed.

We can't afford

a studio until we get

onto the broadcast networks,

so until then you can do

pieces here in the office

or wherever culture

rears its ugly head,

you and young

"Cartier-Bresson" there.

That's Darren.

How lovely to meet you, Darren.

David talks about you nonstop.

Now, I must be off.

It's the Norfolk food awards,

and we're sponsoring

the most imaginative pie.

By the way, what's your take

on the mummy porn phenomenon?

"She came in chains,"

and so forth?

I think it's appalling.

Good. So you'll do a piece

on it for the show, then.

Well, I'll try and find

some cultural significance.

So, in a world where

sex across the media

is all too easily available,

and the gradual playing out

of a love affair is replaced

by... ugh... instant

joyless fornication,

we might be well served

by looking back

to Jane Austen.

- Specifically, at "pride and

prejudice." -[Class moans]

Quite apart from the fact that

it is on this year's syllabus,

if you read it properly,

you may just find

that there are emotions

expressed in it

that might surprise you.

Mr. Darcy in his wet shirt.

My mum's worn the DVD out.

A scene not actually

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