Camp Nowhere Page #4

from Europe until...

When's Parents' Day?

August?

At Shakespeare Hollow,

we do not have Parents' Day.

We feel it encourages

independence.

Say no more, Jerzy.

I think we just have to do

what's right for our little girl.

- Mm-mm-mm-mm-mmm.

- It's fantastic!

- This is great cake!

- [Mumbling] It's very unusual.

I'll be right back.

- God, what'd you do?

- Yours is Betty Crocker.

Hers is raw

liver paste.

So if it tastes like poison,

it must be diet food.

[Phone Ringing]

Son, are you deaf or just stupid?

Answer that phone!

I'm busy.

Get it yourself.

Answer it

or eat it, boy.

- [Ringing Continues]

- I see Weepy's worked wonders.

At Alpha Charlie,

we scrape 'em down to bare metal.

And it's worth it

when they look up at you and say...

"Dad was right, Major Savage. I am scum."

Answer the phone,

son.

- Yes, sir.

- [Ringing Continues]

- Dell residence.

- How's it goin'?

Check or plastic?

- Cash.

- Mission accomplished.

- We're in.

- [Together] Yes!

[Trish]

"Feln's Miracle Spa"?

- [Morris] Yeah, I found it in the newspaper.

- Where? In the obituaries?

Trust me.

It's perfect.

So that's two cabins for the summer.

Am I right?

- If you want more, you gotta call me in Florida.

- So, I don't get it.

- Who built those tepees

and painted that weird bus?

- Ahhh!

That's interesting.

In the late '60s, a bunch of hippies...

made this place

into a commune.

You know, there was all sorts of

sex and drugs and debauchery.

I knew I'd

been here before.

- You mean you did that stuff here?

- No. Not here.

You won't regret this,

Mr. Bandersnatch.

You're in for the most peaceful,

relaxing summer...

of your whole lives.

- [Rumbling]

- [Gasping]

That was the Pineview

Air Force Base.

The 5... 15 flyby,

they call it.

You get used to it.

You get used to it.

Then you miss it when it doesn't happen.

[Chuckles]

- So we should just take the Greyhound.

- The bus?

- Why can't we rent a limo?

- You know what'd be cool?

We should hitchhike.

Yeah. That would be really cool.

And then we should just leave our pictures

behind for them to put on the milk cartons.

- Hey, guys, I've been checking

out the train schedules.

- [Doorbell Ringing]

Hold on a second.

I'll be right back.

- Hitchhike?

- Stupid.

Walter. Hi.

- Pretty slick, Mud.

- What?

I know what you're doing, Mud. That

computer camp you said you were going to;

There's no such camp.

Walter, if you tell anyone,

I'm gonna glue your mouth shut!

Look, I won't tell.

Not as long as you let me come.

- No.

- Okay. If I don't go, you don't go.

All right.

But you can't tell anyone.

I won't.

Walter, who'd you tell?

- Just Betty Stoller. You know,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes