Buddy Solitaire Page #5

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LET'S JUST WATCH

A VIDEO, OKAY?

LET'S WATCH

A VIDEO TOGETHER.

WE'LL WATCH VIDEOS.

OH, LOOK, IT'S JERRY SEINFELD.

LOW EFFORT FOR:

EVERYBODY INVOLVED,

INCLUDING JERRY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK

HAPPENED TO THE FRENCH GIRL?

DON'T THINK ABOU THE FRENCH GIRL, BUGG.

HEY, STEPHAN, IT'S BUDDY.

DID YOU GET MY MESSAGE

FROM THAT HARE KRISHNA?

ANYWAY, I HAD TO SLEEP

WITH ALL OF YOUR ASSISTANTS

TO GET THIS DIRECT NUMBER,

INCLUDING DAVE, WHO IS

A GREAT LAY,

SO YOU KNOW,

CALL ME BACK, MAN.

THANKS.

OKAY, GUYS,

HELL OF A FIRST DAY.

SEE YOU LATER.

HEY, BUDDY.

HEY, HEY, BUDDY.

HEY... I WANNA LEARN

ABOUT PUNCH LINES.

OH YEAH?

YOU SURE YOU'RE

NOT AN EMISSARY:

SENT FROM THAT HORDE

HERE TO ATTACK ME?

OH, NO, MAN.

THIS IS ALL JUS REALLY NEW TO THEM.

WHAT'S WITH "CHINESE

CHUCKLES" IN THERE?

KIND OF AN INTENSE WOMAN

FOR A WORKSHOP.

YEAH, MISS LIAO IS

TYSON'S YOUNGER COUSIN.

SO?

WELL, HE MANAGED

TO GET HER HERE:

INSTEAD OF A ROOM

AT STATE.

SHE WAS A MAIL-ORDER BRIDE

OR SOMETHING.

HER HUSBAND UP IN FRESNO

USED TO HIT HER.

A LOT.

SHE BURNED HIS HOUSE DOWN.

PULLED A "LEFT EYE."

YEAH, I NEVER THOUGH ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.

-YEAH.

WHEN I WAS YOUNGER,

MY MOM WOULDN'T ALLOW ANY

CUSSIN' IN THE HOUSE.

I MEAN, YOU COULDN' WATCH ANYTHING.

BUT ME AND MY OLDER BROTHER

USED TO SNEAK "DELIRIOUS"

DOWN IN THE BASEMENT.

MY MOM SAID "F***"

ALL THE TIME, SO...

"DELIRIOUS"

IS GREAT, THOUGH.

HOW ABOUT YOU, MAN?

YOU GOT JOKES?

YEAH, YEAH, MAN.

I GOT A BOOK FULL OF 'EM.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

NEXT TIME I'M HERE,

YOU BRING 'EM, WE'LL GO

OVER 'EM TOGETHER, OKAY?

YEAH, YEAH,

THAT'D BE GREAT.

THAT'D BE GREAT, MAN.

HEY, BUDDY?

YOU GET TO MISS LIAO,

EVERYBODY ELSE:

FALLS IN LINE.

THANKS, MAN.

COME ON. COME ON.

COME ON.

THIS IS YOUR IDEA.

YEAH, I KNOW.

I KNOW.

I THOUGHT I WAS:

IN BETTER SHAPE.

NO, I COULD'VE

TOLD YOU OTHERWISE.

-ALL RIGHT, WELL.

-SEE, YOU SHOULD GO

WORK OUT WITH ME.

-I WORK OUT.

I CALL IT DRINKING AND--

NOT EATING RIGHT.

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

-THANK YOU.

-I DID THIS ALL MYSELF.

WHY DO YOU:

PUT UP WITH ME?

I ACCEPT YOUR FLAWS

AND YOU ACCEPT MINE.

YEAH, BUT YOU

DON'T HAVE ANY.

EXCEPT MY TERRIBLE

TASTE IN MEN.

-HEY, THAT IS ME.

-IT IS YOU.

-OH.

-MM-HMM.

WHAT'S THAT?

I HAVE SOMETHING

TO TELL YOU.

OKAY.

I'M PREGNANT.

-THAT'S A GOOD JOKE.

-IT'S NOT A JOKE.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S--

THIS IS GREAT NEWS,

SWEETIE.

THIS IS-- F***.

THIS IS GREAT.

I...

WHY AREN'T YOU HAPPIER?

I MEAN, THE TWO OF US

ARE A MESS.

WE CAN BARELY:

TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES.

ANOTHER PERSON?

HONEY, YOU'RE GONNA BE

AN AMAZING MOM.

-I CAN TRY BREASTFEEDING.

BABY, I'M GONNA GE INTO THE JUBILEE, OKAY?

AND THEN EVERYTHING

IS GONNA BE DIFFERENT.

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