Buddy Solitaire

Synopsis: Buddy Solitaire is a struggling comedian on the late night circuit. The only job he can get is teaching comedy to the mentally ill. Buddy discovers, however, that by helping these patients, he can get closer and closer to healing himself.
Genre: Comedy, Drama
 
IMDB:
6.4
Year:
2016
86 min
9 Views

YOUR LAST AC OF THE EVENING,

PUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER

FOR BUDDY SOLITAIRE.

ALL RIGHT, GUYS,

ONE MORE TIME FOR ALL

YOUR COMICS TONIGHT, HUH?

ENTHUSIASTIC CROWD.

I LOVE IT.

EXCITED TO BE HERE.

IT'S MIDNIGH ON A TUESDAY,

SO ALL OF US:

ARE BIG WINNERS, HUH?

SO I'M FROM KANSAS,

WHERE WE HAVE A SPECIAL NAME

FOR A 12-YEAR-OLD GIRL

WHO'S FASTER

THAN HER BROTHERS--

A VIRGIN.

OKAY. OKAY.

NOT MUCH OF A THINKING CROWD

TONIGHT, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

-OH, I'M SORRY.

ARE YOU EXPECTING

AN IMPORTANT CALL?

WHY DON'T YOU JUS GET OFF THE STAGE?

WHY DON'T YOU GET BACK

TO YOUR PHONE CALL?

F*CK YOU.

GREAT.

RIGHT HERE, IN FRON OF ALL THESE PEOPLE?

YOU WANT ME TO JUS F*CK YOU ON THIS STAGE?

THAT'LL BE FUN

FOR NOBODY TO WATCH.

THAT'S MY TIME.

HEY DUDE, LISTEN TO THIS JOKE

I GOT YESTERDAY, OKAY?

REALLY?

-NOW COME ON,

JUST ONE JOKE.

-ONE.

-ALL RIGHT,

HERE WE GO.

SO, IN HISTORY CLASS

THEY ASKED US,

"WHAT'S INDIA'S CONTRIBUTION

TO THE MODERN WORLD?"

I SAID, "TECH SUPPORT."

-OKAY, SO, YOU'RE

IN HISTORY CLASS,

YOU'RE A 25-YEAR-OLD.

WHY ARE YOU STILL

IN HISTORY CLASS?

DUDE, IT'S THE JOKE, OKAY?

IT'S A 40-WORD JOKE.

-I GET IT.

THE PUNCH LINE'S

GOTTA COME FASTER.

-IT'S TWO SENTENCES!

-GET THERE FASTER.

OKAY, BROWN MAN LISTEN.

BROWN MAN GRAB HIS IPAD.

HEY, DO YOU ACTUALLY

DO TECH SUPPORT?

'CAUSE I HAVE A VIRUS

ON MY COMPUTER.

TOO MUCH PORN, AND BROWN MAN

SAYS "F*CK YOU."

-OH, NICE.

-MM-HMM.

I DO LIKE HOW YOU USE

THAT INDIAN THING, THOUGH.

KEEP DOING THAT.

MAKE IT YOUR OWN.

MY GURU HAS SPOKEN.

WE'RE DOING YOGA TODAY.

YOU KNOW I DON' UNDERSTAND CHINESE.

COME ON.

YOU'RE NOT HELPING

EITHER ONE OF US.

MISS LIAO--

MAN, GET OFF THE STAGE.

THANK YOU, I WILL,

WHEN I'M DONE.

YOU SUCK.

-I APPRECIATE THAT.

JUST TELL SOME JOKES!

GREAT, YES,

MORE PLEASE, PLEASE.

GET OFF STAGE!

-I WILL, I GOT THREE MINUTES,

SO I GUESS WE'RE GONNA WAIT,

AND I'LL JUST DO THIS.

THIS HOW WE'RE GONNA

SPEND YOUR TIME, GUYS?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

CELEBRATING AFTER

ANOTHER GREAT SHOW.

DON'T YOU THINK

YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH?

NO.

I'M FINE.

OKAY.

PHEW.

-GOOD MORNING.

-HI.

HEY, THANKS FOR STOPPING ME

BEFORE I RUINED:

THE OL' MONEYMAKER.

SURE.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD SPEND

A LITTLE LESS TIME

WITH HANNA.

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE

TO DO WITH ANYTHING?

IT'S JUS HER WHOLE ENERGY.

MAYBE IT'S

RUBBING OFF ON YOU.

WE'RE TALKING ENERGY NOW.

DO YOU WANT ME:

TO GRAB YOUR TAROT CARDS?

WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT I IF YOU DON'T WANT.

SORRY.

JUST, I'M NOT SURE I CAN TAKE

ANOTHER BAD SHOW.

AND I KNOW MY FACE CAN'T.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU LOVE COMEDY.

RIGHT,

IT'S IN MY BLOOD.

HI, CAN I HELP YOU?

YES, IRWIN SCHWARTZ

IS UP THERE.

I'M GONNA DO A SET WITH HIM.

WE GO WAY BACK.

UH-HUH.

I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING

ABOUT THIS.

SO WHY DON'T YOU GO

PAY JULIE AT THE DOOR

FOR YOUR TICKET, YEAH?

DO YOU KNOW:

WHO I AM?

I DO, HANNA,

BUT IT'S NOT 1983 ANYMORE,

SO JUST GO PAY:

FOR YOUR TICKET.

YOU DO NOT TALK:

TO ME LIKE THAT.

WHO THE F*CK DO YOU THINK

YOU ARE, YOU LITTLE PRICK?

OKAY, NAME CALLING.

-WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO--

-DO NOT TOUCH ME.

OKAY, CALM DOWN.

-I AM A LEGEND.

-OKAY, OKAY.

-I AM A F*CKING LEGEND!

-WE HAVE A LEGEND

WHO'S CRAZY.

COME ON,

EXIT STAGE RIGHT, LEGEND.

HERE WE GO.

THANK YOU FOR COMING.

HERE WE GO.

THERE'S THE DOOR.

HERE WE GO.

OW, THAT'S NICE.

LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

BYE-BYE NOW.

BYE-BYE.

WHOO!

SHIT.

HEY, HONEY.

HEY, I'M GLAD YOU CALLED.

I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE

FOR THIS MORNING.

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I LEFT MY ANXIETY PILLS

AT YOUR PLACE.

OH, YOU DON'T NEED

THAT STUFF.

I'M NOT GONNA TAKE THEM

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Kuang Lee

 more…

All Kuang Lee scripts | Kuang Lee Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Esperanto Esperanto (Esperanto)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this Buddy Solitaire script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Buddy Solitaire" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 17 Oct. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/buddy_solitaire_4794>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

Buddy Solitaire

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


The Studio:

ScreenWriting Tool

Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.