Bubba Ho-Tep Page #6

'This time, we got quizzed about

what had happened to Kemosabe.

'Neither of us told the truth.

'Who was gonna

believe a couple of nuts?

'Elvis and Jack Kennedy explaining

'that Kemosabe was

gunning for a mummy in cowboy duds?

'Some kind of Bubba Ho-tep?

'So what we did was... we lied.'

- Life sure is fleeting, you know?

- What?

Life, I'm saying it's fleeting.

You know what I mean?

One minute you're here

and the next minute you're gone!

Oh, sh*t! Come on.

A**hole! Come on, move it. Get it.

- Ow!

- Ah!

Nonchalant. Nonchalant.

- Get it in there.

You are one f***ing idiot.

Mr Haff?

Mr Presley.

Mr Presley.

Now, now, Mr Presley.

You are looking much stronger,

but you shouldn't be out here too long.

It's time for your nap and it's also time

for us to do that little... you know.

You f*** off, you patronising b*tch!

I'm sick of your sh*t!

I'll lube my own crankshaft!

Treat me like a baby again, I'll wrap

this goddamn walker round your head!

How in the hell did that mummy do that?

Well, what the hell?

Where did old Bubba Ho-tep go?

Where did he come from?

How the hell did he get here?

Wait a minute.

'I saw him under the bridge.'

Come on, momma.

'It's a cancer.

'They're keeping it from me cos I'm old.

To them, it don't matter.

'They think age will kill me first

and they're probably right. Well, suck them.

'I know what it is

and if it isn't, it might as well be.'

Ugh.

'Station KROP is proud to present

the Elvis Presley Movie Marathon.

'It's 24 hours of Elvis

in the roles he made famous.

'Watch that hound dog

outstrum, outrace, outfight

'and outwit the bad guys.

'And at the same time,

watch the King slay the girls.'

Shitty b*tches, man. Every single one.

'Here I was complaining about

loss of pride and how life had treated me,

'and now I realise I never had any pride.

'Much of how life had treated me

had been good

'and the bulk of the bad

was my own damn fault.

'Should have fired Colonel Parker

when I got into pictures.

'Old fart had been a shark and a fool

and I was a bigger fool for following him.

'If only I had treated Priscilla right.

'If I could have told my daughter I loved her.

'Always the questions, never the answers.

'Always the hopes, never the fuIfilments.'

I had the woman who calls herseIf

my niece come get me.

She took me downtown

to the newspaper morgue.

She's been helping me do some research.

- Research on what, man?

- On our mummy.

- You know something about it?

- I know plenty.

Now, one of the lesser mummies,

on loan from the Egyptian government,

was being circulated all over

the United States - museums, stuff like that.

- Like King Tut?

- No. More like King Tut's brother.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes