Bubba Ho-Tep

Synopsis: Based on the Bram Stoker Award nominee short story by cult author Joe R. Lansdale, Bubba Ho-tep tells the "true" story of what really did become of Elvis Presley. We find Elvis (Bruce Campbell) as an elderly resident in an East Texas rest home, who switched identities with an Elvis impersonator years before his "death", then missed his chance to switch back. Elvis teams up with Jack (Ossie Davis), a fellow nursing home resident who thinks that he is actually President John F. Kennedy, and the two valiant old codgers sally forth to battle an evil Egyptian entity who has chosen their long-term care facility as his happy hunting grounds.
Director(s): Don Coscarelli
Production: Silver Sphere Corporation
  7 wins & 10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.1
Metacritic:
57
Rotten Tomatoes:
79%
R
Year:
2002
92 min
Website
49 Views

'I was dreaming -

dreaming my dick was out

'and I was checking if that infected

bump on the head of it had filled with pus.

'If it had, I was gonna name it after

my ex-wife Cilla and bust it by jacking off.

'Or I'd like to think that's what I'd do.

'Dreams let you think like that.

'Truth was,

I hadn't had a hard-on in years.'

Oh, man.

'My God, man.

How long have I been here?

'Am I really awake now

or am I just dreaming I'm awake?

'How could my plans

have gone so wrong?

'When the hell

are they gonna serve lunch?

Considering what they serve,

why the hell do I care?

'If Priscilla discovered I was alive,

would she come and see me?

'Would we still wanna fuck

or would we merely have to talk about it?

'Is there finally and really anything to life

other than food, shit and sex?

'Well, goddamn it.

'How could I have gone

from the King of Rock and Roll to this?

'Old guy in a rest-home in east Texas

with a growth on his pecker.'

'What is that growth, man? Cancer?

'Nobody's talking.

'No one seems to know, or wants to.'

Makes you wonder

what kind of life this old guy had.

- Huh?

- What kind of life he had.

His kids, his grandkids, his legacy.

Look at him now.

Ah, who gives a shit?

Hm?

Make you comfy.

No.

Oh!

I'm gonna squish you, cockroach.

Help me.

You know, I was thinking...

What? You gonna get

all weepy on my again?

No. I was gonna suggest that you

spray some deodoriser on the corpse

because she's smelling pretty ripe.

Ugh! Good idea.

Excuse me, miss.

You gonna throw all that stuff out?

Yeah.

Could I have

one of them pictures of Bull?

Maybe his Purple Heart?

I mean, he was pretty proud of that.

And maybe

that tin of chocolates there.

I suppose.

'The revealing of her panties

wasn't intentional or unintentional.

'She just didn't give a damn.

'She saw me as so physically

and sexually non-threatening,

'she didn't mind

if I got a bird's-eye view of her love nest.

'It was the same to her

as a house cat sneaking a peek.

'I felt my pecker flutter once,

like a pigeon having a heart attack,

'then lay back down

and remain limp and still.

'Course, these days,

even a flutter was reassuring.'

Thank you.

Say, er...

- Bull your kin?

- My daddy.

Never seen you here before.

I've only been here once before -

when I checked him in.

That was three years ago, wasn't it?

You and him friends?

No. He never felt good enough

to say much.

I just hated to see

what was left of him go away so easy.

Seemed like an all right guy.

Mentioned you a lot.

You're Callie, right?

Yeah. Well, he was all right.

But not enough to come see him?

Don't lay some guilt trip on me.

I did what I could.

If it hadn't been for Medicaid or Medicare

or whatever, he'd have been in a ditch.

I sure didn't have the money

to take care of him.

'My own daughter -

lost long ago to me.

'If she knew I lived, would she come

and see me? Would she even care? '

You could have come and seen him.

They don't charge for that.

Mind your own business.

I was busy.

Well, well, well,

if it isn't my favourite patient?

How are you, Mr Haff?

I'm all right,

but I prefer "Mr Presley" or "Elvis".

I keep telling you that.

I don't go by Sebastian Haff any more.

- I'm not trying to hide any more.

- I knew that, but I forgot.

Good morning, Elvis.

Did you know we have a celebrity here,

Miss Thomas?

Elvis Presley - the rock and roll singer.

I thought he was dead.

Well, Elvis is dead.

Mr Haff knows that, don't you?

Hell, no. I'm right here. I ain't dead... yet.

Now, Mr Haff! I don't mind calling you Elvis,

but you're a little confused

Rate this script:(0.00 / 0 votes)

Don Coscarelli

Don Coscarelli, Jr. (born February 17, 1954) is a Libyan-American film director, producer and screenwriter best known for horror films. His credits include the Phantasm series, The Beastmaster, and Bubba Ho-Tep. more…

All Don Coscarelli scripts | Don Coscarelli Scripts

FAVORITE (0 fans)

Translation

Translate and read this script in other languages:

Select another language:

  • - Select -
  • Chinese - Simplified 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
  • Chinese - Traditional 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
  • Spanish Español (Spanish)
  • Japanese 日本語 (Japanese)
  • Portuguese Português (Portuguese)
  • German Deutsch (German)
  • Arabic العربية (Arabic)
  • French Français (French)
  • Russian Русский (Russian)
  • Kannada ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
  • Korean 한국어 (Korean)
  • Hebrew עברית (Hebrew)
  • Ukrainian Український (Ukrainian)
  • Urdu اردو (Urdu)
  • Hungarian Magyar (Hungarian)
  • Hindi मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
  • Indonesian Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Italian Italiano (Italian)
  • Tamil தமிழ் (Tamil)
  • Turkish Türkçe (Turkish)
  • Telugu తెలుగు (Telugu)
  • Thai ภาษาไทย (Thai)
  • Vietnamese Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
  • Czech Čeština (Czech)
  • Polish Polski (Polish)
  • Indonesian Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
  • Romanian Românește (Romanian)
  • Dutch Nederlands (Dutch)
  • Greek Ελληνικά (Greek)
  • Latin Latinum (Latin)
  • Swedish Svenska (Swedish)
  • Danish Dansk (Danish)
  • Finnish Suomi (Finnish)
  • Persian فارسی (Persian)
  • Yiddish ייִדיש (Yiddish)
  • Armenian հայերեն (Armenian)
  • Norwegian Norsk (Norwegian)
  • English English (English)

Discuss this Bubba Ho-Tep script with the community:

Citation

Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

Style:MLAChicagoAPA

"Bubba Ho-Tep" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 20 Jun 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bubba_ho-tep_4775>.

We need you!

Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

Watch the movie trailer

Bubba Ho-Tep

The Marketplace:

Sell your Script !

Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web!


Thanks for your vote! We truly appreciate your support.