Booty Call Page #3

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- Check my ass.

That"s what l"m talking about,

is the check.

Now, the lobster don"t even have

a price. It just says "seasonal."

So you know what that means,

a brother gotta pay $28.

And if I get you lobster and some Mot,

you know what"s happening after that.

No, what does happen?

L"m going deep-sea diving.

Bunz, this is a platinum card.

I could buy and sell

your ashy black, blue-collared ass.

- Is that right?

- Yes, it is.

Well, lookie here.

- What is that?

- It"s a gold gas card.

That means I can buy

all the gas I want...

...in all 50 states

and 11 foreign countries.

And I got platinum privileges too.

Because, you know, if you buy enough

gas, they give you coffee mugs.

A gas card?

You don"t even got a car.

Why you putting me on front street?

L"II have you to know that I laid away

a "68 Chevy Super Sport...

...with a 427-cubic inch twin cam

with a Hurst gearshift.

Sounds like a man who has some

serious doubts about his manhood.

Those cars are nothing but extensions

of your penis or lack thereof.

Yeah. You"re right,

because my dick is only two inches...

...from the ground.

Isn"t he grand?

Can"t get a brother"s order straight.

Look, I ordered shrimp fried rice.

Can I get some shrimp?

Oh, there is one shrimp there

and another shrimp here.

What"s with the green leafy stuff? You

trying to fool a brother with shrubbery.

Child, that"s garnishment.

Make your food look good.

What will make my food look good

is five extra shrimp.

I thought there was no smoking

in this restaurant.

- L"II take care of this.

- Bunz, sit down.

That"s the notorious Ug Lee,

the godfather of the Leuang Triad.

He runs Chinatown.

Yeah, I know, I got all his albums.

L"II tell him you said what"s up.

I know you impressed.

You probably thought

I was just a common "hood-rat, huh?

I didn"t know you spoke Chinese.

Wasn"t like I could speak it

to your ass.

- Where"d you learn?

- Watching kung fu movies.

Me and my father, we always watched

kung fu movies.

- Our TV didn"t have a vertical hold.

What l"d do is, l"d get the kung fu

videos and listen to them.

Bit by bit, I started understanding

them motherfuckers.

One time I went to

the Chinese laundry...

...and all the sh*t that sounded like,

"Ping, ting, pang"...

...started making sense.

So why didn"t y"all just buy a new TV?

Everybody ain"t got

no platinum card.

You know, there is some poor folk

out in the world.

How"s your shrimp, baby?

He ain"t got no shrimp over there.

Oh, here"s one.

You can have it, baby.

Oh, my goodness, you whipped.

That boy is whipped.

You know what?

You need to pay attention and learn.

All he did was gave you

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