Boat Trip Page #4

Synopsis: Jerry and Nick are two best buddies whose love lives have hit rock bottom, Jerry's especially, having just vomited all over his fiancée on a hot air balloon trip prior to proposing to her. To escape their troubles and find women, they book a trip on board a cruise-liner, unaware the travel agent has just played a horrid trick on them in retaliation for Nick offending his secret gay lover. And that's the trick; it's a gay cruise-liner for gay men to meet and mingle. Slowly but surely, the two main characters begin to realize this and in turn get into a lot of humorous predicaments.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Mort Nathan
Production: Artisan Entertainment
  1 win & 8 nominations.
 
IMDB:
4.9
Metacritic:
18
Rotten Tomatoes:
7%
R
Year:
2002
94 min
$8,525,095
Website
522 Views


Why do I ever listen to you?

Are you implying

that this is somehow my fault?

I'm not implying it.

I'm saying it.

If you hadn't insulted the travel agent,

none of this would've happened.

- Maybe there's another explanation.

- Yeah? What?

Maybe that travel agent thought

he was doing you a favor.

Because...

- You know.

- Because what?

Because you're a little fem.

That's why.

You always dress real nice.

You're in shape. You're neat.

And you use those pastel

colored balls at the bowling alley.

Don't think that got past me.

You're an idiot.

A thick-headed moron.

Felicia was right. I should've

dumped your ass years ago!

If you wanted to dump somebody's

ass, it should've been Felicia's.

That chick was Satan's sister, bro.

Yeah! Devil in a d-cup!

Felicia was as frosty a b*tch

as I've ever seen in my life!

I'm gonna kill ya!

Get off.

I know I heard

do the bump-bump time.

Hey you, don't get the wrong idea.

Hector always gets the wrong idea.

That's why he is no longer welcome

in the state of Missouri.

Buddy, you pranced into the wrong

cabin. My friend and I...

we're not gay.

Ring, ring. Hold the phone. What you

tell me? You two guys are not gay?

That's right!

Go on, pull Hector's other leg.

He's got bells on it.

I'm getting out of here.

Gee. What hasn't gotten into him?

Out.

Oh, here he comes

Watch out, boy

He'll chew you up

Oh, here he comes

He's a maneater

Oh, here he comes

Watch out, boy

He'll chew you up

Oh, here he comes

He's a maneater

lwouldn't if lwere you

Bachelor number 2. What's the most

unusual place you ever made love?

Well, once I did it in a dressing

room in International Male.

Right. How about you,

bachelor number 3?

What's the most unusual place

that you ever made love?

Inside a woman.

Oh, no...

Hey! Who do I have to screw

to get a drink around here?

Oops.

Oops.

Hey buddy, you okay?

Do I look gay?

Never saw an old gay

grandpa before.

Where are all the gay people at?

You're all always supposed

to want to party.

Oops. Oops.

- Are you okay?

- I'm fine!

Men on dates, holding hands,

touching, kissing.

I can't take it. Then I think

"not delay it."

Took too much shop

in high school.

Help! Pick me up!

Get me out of here!

Drop down a ladder!

I like girls!

Please!

Please, come back!

I don't know anything about a flare

gun. I swear I was here all night.

A flare gun? I don't know anything.

I was here all night.

Flare gun? I don't know nothing

about no stinking flare gun.

- Oh, sh*t!

- Okay.

Here we are.

You should go change now.

Where's your robe?

Okay.

Okay, I give up.

I did it.

Hey, Jer, how was your evening?

Hi. Your friend

had a little too much to drink.

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Mort Nathan

Mort Nathan is an American television producer, screenwriter and film director. He was one of the co-producers and head writers of the comedy show The Golden Girls. Nathan won two Emmy awards, two Golden Globes, and a Writer's Guild of America award for his work on the series. He has written and produced over 150 hours of prime time television shows and directed the feature films Boat Trip, Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, and Bag Boy. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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