Bloodsucking Bastards Page #4

have already agreed...

we'll be forced

to kill all of you.

So you better do what he says.

So, come on, let's get out there

and get selling.

-What the hell, Ted?

-Now, hold on a minute.

No one ever

promised you that job.

Oh, yeah, I-I know,

but Max Phillips?

He's got an MBA.

He's got a great track record.

He comes highly recommended.

He has some very

interesting ideas for new hires.

Honestly, we're lucky

to have him.

How did you... Of all...

Now, this isn't gonna be

a problem, now, is it?

-You working for Max?

-No. No!

Of course not, I just...

I would have liked

a legitimate crack at the job

before you brought in

someone else.

Look. I like you, Evan.

I really do.

I mean, you show up

for work on time.

You work hard.

You legitimately give a sh*t.

Thank you. I do!

It's like I used to tell

the bench players

back when I coached football,

"The most important people

in the team

"are the ones who make

the starters try."

Now, you get out there.

There you go.

Thank you, Jerry.

Those are the

employee files I requested?

Oh, yes, I think so.

It might be helpful if you

were a little more specific

about exactly what it is

you're looking for.

Listen, Amanda, I know

you and Evan have a history,

and I know that

you care about him.

Uh... I'm the head of HR.

So, it's highly inappropriate

for me to discuss this--

Sure, sure, sure.

I'll tell you what.

After I settle in, you and I can

schedule some one-on-one

and get to know each other.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

-Hey, buddy.

-Um...

Just a little HR talk.

Thanks, Mandy.

-We'll circle...

-Hey, that's my...

Where are you taking

Fuzz Aldrin?

Fuzz Aldrin, the janitor has...

Why?

Long time no see. Am I right?

Listen, Evan. I know you and I

had a little falling out.

But as far as I'm concerned,

water under the bridge.

-Ancient history.

-Okay, good--

It's all about

the company now, right?

-Wait--

-I knew I could count on you.

This is mine--

MIKE:
Boom shaka laka.

Who's the noob now, b*tch?

Oh, now you wanna be

a little kid.

Okay. Well, you can cry

all night long

'cause you just got

your ass whupped by a grownup

with a big-ass dick.

I'm gonna kill you.

Yeah.

Yeah. No, I'mma f*** you up.

I'm gonna f***...

you up.

Yeah, I see you.

F***in' eat that sh*t.

Hey.

Jesus, man! You gotta f***ing

warn someone before you do that.

Office hours are over.

Yeah, well,

high-speed internet's free,

and Elaine left

her Souplantation in the fridge.

So, velvet rope off

this motherf***er right here

because this is gonna be

my own personal club tonight.

-Okay.

-Oh.

And I'm gonna be dialing up

some Youjizz

and busting out some knuckle

children in a couple of minutes

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