Beerfest Page #5

for a minute, all right?

- Is this guy really that good?

- Yeah.

He's the best.

We should put him on our team, then.

- There he is.

- Where?

Right there.

Oh, my God.

What happened to him?

All right. It's a regular

hot-dog cart in here, huh?

All right, here's how it works.

One dollar to look at it.

Two dollars to touch it.

Three dollars to watch me touch it.

That's lots of nice-looking manhood.

Back the f*** up, Antonio!

My dick!

My apologies.

Five to touch it

while I touch my toes.

Six dollars to touch it

while I touch your toe...

Oh, hey, Jan. How are you?

Todd. And Fink.

- Hey, looking good, Finky.

- You too, Barry.

I wish I could give you a deal here,

but my pimp's a real ball ache, you know?

So it's $ 10 for a BJ,

$ 12 for an HJ, $ 15 for a ZJ.

What's a ZJ?

If you have to ask, big man,

you can't afford it.

I got $4.

Barry, we didn't come here for a BJ...

...or a ZJ or any kind of a J.

Move along, then.

I got a mouth to feed.

Barry, wait.

Jan, hold on.

That's not such a good idea.

Barry!

There's this big beer-games competition.

We're putting a team together.

- We want you.

- Twenty-five bucks.

No, no, no. You'd be training

with us over the next year.

- Thirty bucks?

- Jan, forget it.

No, just show us some of

the old coin tricks. Come on.

Oh, please, Jan, let's get out of here.

- No. Wait.

- No?

Clearly, you've fallen on hard times.

This would be a chance

to get back to the glory days.

It's a chance to show you still got it.

You still got it, right?

You bet your ass I do.

Show them.

Watch and learn, baby diapers.

Just like college.

It's nothing to worry about.

He's shaking the cobwebs off.

I got it. I got it.

All right, here we go.

- A little sticky on the:

- Yeah.

- This guy blows.

- Come on. You can do it.

Glasses, maybe. I...

What are you looking at?

Barry, what happened to you?

Get out of here! Get out of here!

- Get out of here!

- Barry, Barry...

- Get out of here!

- Help! Help!

So, what about

Dan "The Magic Man" Dunchkowski?

He'd down a beer ball

with every meal.

He's no good.

He had that Al Roker surgery.

He went black?

Don't be a moron.

He got his stomach stapled.

Most he can fit are two Triscuits

and a glass of water.

Really?

Oh, boy.

Wolfhouses, I want on the team.

Forget about it. You're done.

You don't have any more, Badrinath.

Oh, yeah?

He's got a gun!

Unbelievable!

That's incredible.

I'm better when I'm drunk.

- I'll say.

- Of course. So is everybody.

Hey. Looks like we got ourselves a team!

- Get them in there.

- All right!

Well, boys, if we're gonna train...

...we're gonna need a training facility!

It's perfect!

It's amazing!

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