
Beerfest
You've got spunk, Wolfhouse.
I'll give you that.
I don't got room in my
pocket for more of your money.
You couldn't hit your own ball bag
with your own wrinkled cock.
Chance.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
You play rim rules?
Doesn't everybody?
Yeah, the shit-stabbers like you.
Hold on there, girlfriend.
You're gonna chance...
...you're gonna have to earn it.
Oh, no. No way.
Forget about it.
I'm out of here. Where's my...?
Hey. You said you wanted to chance,
now take a chance.
All right, all right.
Son of a bitch!
Up yours, Johnny Cash.
Okay. Grab him, boys.
You weren't trying to play me for
a fool, were you, Wolfhouse?
Beginner's luck.
You don't come into my place of business
and take my money like that.
Now, what I should do is
beat seven shades of shit out of you.
- But I'll teach you something somebody...
- Hey!
What's going on down here?
Todd, welcome home!
I'm just having some fun with your
younger, dumber brother.
Might not be the best time.
Everyone's waiting.
Oh, of course.
Padre?
I'll come back for the rest.
Great Gam Gam. I'm so sorry.
My friends...
...as we gather today to mourn
the passing of Johan Wolfhouse...
...what can I say that
Johan can't say for himself?
Hello, all.
If you are watching this,
then I have croaked.
Now I will never know what happens on
The Young and the Restless.
- He loved that show.
- But seriously, I wanted to thank you all...
...for what you have added to
my long and happy life.
Most of all, my mother.
Mother, I always knew
I loved you.
Prosit.
Todd, Jan,
my smart and talented grandsons...
...take good care of the restaurant.
It is the last piece of your heritage.
And don't worry,
someone will be watching over you.
Popo!
- Hey. It's Popo.
- Popo was given to me...
...by my father on his deathbed.
Prosit!
And finally, to me.
Looking good down there.
Say good night, Popo.
Good night, Popo.
For hundreds of years,
it has been a Wolfhouse tradition...
our loved ones in Munich.
I am too old.
I want you boys to go to Germany...
...and carry out this tradition
for your grandfather.
Sure, it would be an honor for us,
Great Gam Gam. When?
Well, you must leave immediately.
The tradition is to spread the ashes...
...during the festival
on the Theresienwiese.
There you will meet
a Mr. Schniedelwichsen.
He will take you to
The festival begins this week.
The festival of the what-what?
Oh, boys, you know this festival
as Oktoberfest.
We're in.
We really gotta find this Schniedelwichsen
and spread Grandpa's ashes.
He's supposed to meet us here.
So there's nothing we can do
but hang out and wait. Right, Grandpa?
Come on, guys.
Are you making fun of us, mate?
What? No.
We're singing the beloved
drinking songs of our country...
...and you sing us
I reckon you're taking
the piss out of Oktoberfest.
We're just singing.
What do you think, mate?
I think we should fucking brain them.
Hey, we love Oktober...
Hot cheese soup!
Hot cheese so...!
Come on.
This is the Fruleins Gone Wild!
Just kiss each other, ja?
Helmut, my God, are you okay?
Oh, strewth. They hit the little kid!
Let's get the bastards!
So this is Oktoberfest.
Wolfhouse?
Yeah.
I am Mr. Schniedelwichsen.
- Hi!
- Let's go.
Gam Gam said you'd meet us here.
There's some crazy...
- Gotcha.
- Hey!
- He's got me!
- He's gone crazy dingo.
Make fast! Make very fast!
Split! Split!
Where are we going,
Mr. Spiedelspackel?
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Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
"Beerfest" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 28 Jan. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/beerfest_3802>.