Beerfest Page #4

Now I'm out, praise Allah.

I heard that someone died that day.

Yeah, somebody did die that day.

Me.

I had the greatest job in the world,

brewing cold, fresh joy for thousands.

Not to mention all the beer

you could drink, right?

They took it away from me.

Yep, I'd trade all this in if I could get

that feeling back again.

What?

There he is.

Nathan Cornwell has discovered...

...pneumono-ultra-microscopic-

silico-volcano-canaisis.

Big round of applause, people.

You want that geek?

What's he gonna do, check my urine?

I met Finkelstein back in college.

He was a real brainiac, that nerd.

Studied everything about everything.

Including beer.

So shut the f*** up.

What are you doing?

Put the frog on the table.

Clean out the floxinator

or something, all right?

People, listen up. Use your thumbs.

Locate the seminal vesicle here,

the ejaculatory ducts here.

Then stroke it.

Stroke it. Stroke it hard.

Cup the gonads.

If you don't cup the gonads...

Finky!

Jan? Todd?

What are you guys doing here?

- Hey, smart coat.

- Oh, thank you. It's rayon.

What are you doing?

We're extracting frog gamete

for cloning trials.

You're jerking him off.

- Who's the hippo?

- Phil Krundel.

The name's Landfill.

Listen, Fink.

We're putting together a drinking team.

There's a competition

and we want you to be part of it.

- Come on. I'm really busy.

- We're serious.

You don't understand. I'm a respected

member of the scientific community.

Sorry.

- We can't do it without you, Fink.

- No chance. I have a job.

I've got a house with a pool

and a two-car garage. I got three Ph.D.s.

Hey! Don't do that!

- I'm published in four journals.

- What?

Toad Load Weekly?

We need you, Fink.

America needs you.

That sounds a little dramatic.

That's the part we haven't told you.

We're competing against the Germans.

Germans?

Yeah. Big, blond, a**hole Germans.

You got 15 minutes to tell me more.

- Can you move over, please?

- I like to sit in the middle.

What am I supposed to do?

You have room. You're little.

- You wanna sit on this side?

- F*** you.

Jan, who are we meeting out here?

- Jan, who are we meeting out here?

- Barry Badrinath.

- What? No.

- Who's Barry Badrinath?

- I'm putting a team together.

- Turn around.

- Who's Barry?

- Don't worry.

Who's Barry Badrinath?

Who's Barry Badrinath?

Will you shut the hell up? Shut up.

Barry Badrinath was the

best beer-gamer ever.

Best at Quarters, at Pong,

best at everything.

We should put him on our team.

Well, actually, Barry and Todd

had a falling-out.

- See, Barry doinked Todd's girlfriend.

- Yahtzee.

- Zip it, Fink.

- Sorry.

Just think about Gam Gam

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