Bastard Page #4

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- Thanks for your help.

- Take it easy.

(WOMAN)

Hey, champ.

(LAUGHS)

All right.

Yeah. Okay.

- Turn over.

- (CHUCKLING)

- Why?

- Do what I say, you f***in' slut.

(GROANS, LAUGHS)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you f***ing kidding me?

No f***ing way.

No, no, no. Hold on.

Don't you want this?

(GROANS)

All right, just...

Fine. Okay.

If I tap your ass, though,

I want it off. Okay?

It's not my ass gettin' tapped.

(MUFFLED GRUNTING)

Shut up.

- (THUDS)

- (SCREAMING)

(ENGINE STOPS)

Wow.

It's huge.

This is perfect.

- Right, babe?

- Delightful.

Come on. A little nature won't kill us.

Yeah?

We're also not gonna play a show.

So enjoy your f***ing bed.

(BETTY)

And breakfast.

(JAKE) Doesn't it look kind of

like the Custom House?

- What's that?

- (BETTY) Monet.

Custom House, Morning Effect.

(WOMAN)

Hmm. A lot smaller than my house.

Also a lot more on a cliff.

But I do appreciate the comparison.

Hey, how many beds you need?

- Uh... two. Two should be good.

- Cool.

- Possibly a couch.

- No problem.

I have room for everybody.

(LAUGHS)

Ah. You must be Rachael.

Yeah. Sorry.

I'm horrible with introductions.

- I am Rachael of Rachael's Bed

and Breakfast. - My pleasure.

- Ah. You need help with your bags?

- (HANNAH) No, we're fine.

Okay. Well, uh,

you can check in anytime you want.

Take whatever room on the bottom floor.

I'll be around.

Oh, the room on the right is taken.

- Another guest?

- Yeah. Long-term.

He doesn't bother anybody.

But if you see a tallish man

lurking around, don't be scared.

- (LAUGHS) Scared.

- Mmm.

(WEST)

Hey. What was that?

Miss Little Art History 101

in her high boots. What do you think?

- I think you're being uncool.

- Yeah?

Well,

I didn't pick Fucksville for a honeymoon.

(BETTY COUGHING)

(VOMITING)

Mm-hmm.

(SIGHS)

Okay.

(CHUCKLES)

Okay.

This ain't too bad.

Huh?

Sh*t.

I forgot my toothbrush.

Hey.

You okay?

What are we doing here?

I miss home.

Okay.

Yeah, I mean, I do too.

But...

you know, there's...

there's bigger plans for us now.

Yeah?

I don't know if I can do this.

You can, Betty.

I meant me and you on the road.

Well...

what are you emphasizing?

Me and you?

Or are you emphasizing us... on the road?

(STAMMERING)

Either. Both.

I d... I don't know.

You sh...

Here, why don't you...

(SIGHS)

Why don't you lie down for a second? Okay?

Let me go see what this place has got

in terms of food.

Hopefully something more

than juice and waffles. Okay? (CHUCKLES)

May I help you?

No. I'm fine.

Hey, we might have gotten off

on the wrong foot earlier today.

But I'm just trying to make sure everybody

has a pleasurable stay.

I'll bet. Any means necessary.

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