Bastard Page #5
Excuse me?
You look the type to run a brothel,
not a bed and breakfast.
What crawled up your c*nt, b*tch?
Hey, um...
I'm leading a tour of the woods
in the morning.
And if you wake up and decide to abort
your shitty attitude...
you're welcome to come.
(CREAKING, FAINT)
(CREAKING, LOUDER)
Hey.
- Sorry. I-I didn't...
- Come here.
What were you doing?
Nothing.
Why were you creeping? It's creepy.
You're really pretty.
You're pretty too.
Do you want to talk?
Or sit?
My mother never brushed my hair.
I thought that was something
moms were supposed to do.
Count to a hundred.
Sing a lullaby.
(CHUCKLES)
Put the lotion in the basket. Nice stuff.
I like it. Makes me feel like a cat.
You like animals then?
More than people.
I can understand that.
West is nice.
Yes.
Yes, he is.
Do you... Ow!
Sorry.
Sorry. I'm not used to this.
Aren't there things you want to do
before becoming a mom?
Who said I was becoming a mom?
Sorry.
Theoretically.
You mean, like...
go to Europe?
(LAUGHS)
That.
See museums. Meet new people.
I did a lot of that in school.
You're young. You have time.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Evening, Rachael.
Sorry to bother you so late.
Yeah. Is everything okay?
Y-Yeah...
Well, uh, we've got
a couple kids gone missing.
Anyone I know?
A college girl and a bartender.
(RACHAEL)
Throw in a priest, you got a good joke.
Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't see
that you had friends over.
(RACHAEL)
Patrons, yeah.
(MAN)
Okay, well, they can hear this too.
I'm gonna recommend that you don't go out
alone for a few nights.
We don't know where the kids went.
My money's that the two fools
just ran off together, but...
I'm not sheriff anymore, so...
You know, that's not the only reason
why I came up here.
- Are you still doing the Sunday hike?
- Yeah. Bright and early.
Well, good. I'll be there.
- Okay.
- Have a good night.
Good night.
Well, I'll see you all in the morning.
(TWIG SNAPS)
(RUSTLING)
(POLICE RADIO CHATTER)
(ENGINE STARTS)
Just cry. It's the natural way.
If you cry, you'll feel good.
If you feel good, you'll
accept who you are.
If you accept who you are,
maybe you won't have to cry anymore, p*ssy.
And so ends side "A" of Help Me Help You
Stop Hating Yourself.
(SIGHS)
I'm sorry, babe.
(KISSES)
(GUITAR)
Sorry if I offended some people
this afternoon.
Sorry I'm smoking on your porch.
It's cool.
(LAUGHS)
That works.
(LAUGHS)
So, uh, what do we do now?
What do you mean?
Like...
you know, all the small talk's over.
Chitchat.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(COUGHS)
What do we do?
We, like, enrich
each other's lives or something.
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"Bastard" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 6 Jun 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bastard_3649>.
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