Balls of Fury Page #2
What do you want me
to do about it?
What you were born to do.
You see, Randy,
Feng is a Ping-Pong fanatic.
He played for the Chinese
when he was a kid.
Now every five years
he brings the best to him.
A high-stakes tournament,
at a secret location.
Invitation only.
His men go to tournaments
all over the world,
searching for
the best of the best.
You see that gold paddle?
That's the invitation.
You, Randy,
you're our ticket in.
I'm not a spy, man.
Look, you don't have
to do anything
but play Ping-Pong, man.
You go to a few tournaments
and do your stuff.
If you're as good
as you used to be,
I'm sure
you'll get an invitation.
Look, this year Feng's
invited a who's who
of the international
most wanted list.
Randy, something big's
going down.
Here's the thing.
You're bananas.
I do matinee shows.
I get introduced
by a cockatoo.
Mr. Daytona,
you're the only one
who can lead us to Feng.
I've been authorized
to offer you
anything in the government's
power if you help us out.
You don't get it, do you, man?
I don't compete anymore!
Okay?
(SIGHS WEARILY)
Caucasians.
Hey, Dad. I'm sorry
I haven't been around
in awhile.
And again, I'm sorry about
abbreviating your dates
on the headstone.
(SIGHS IN DESPAIR)
The numbers were, like,
apostrophes were free so...
(SIGHS SOFTLY)
(SIGHS IN DISBELIEF)
Excuse me?
Excuse me!
The new slide's
a little close, isn't it?
What are you gonna do?
They sold the air rights
to the cemetery.
They sold the air rights
to a cemetery?
It's a pretty okay
water slide, though.
I guess it's a theme
that it's haunted. Something.
Look out!
All right. I'm in.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS ADORINGLY)
I love that smell.
Good to be back
on the circuit again, huh?
I meant pancakes.
I love the smell of pancakes.
Okay, you're not here
to have fun.
All right? You're here to win.
Get your head in the game.
What, do you think Feng
No, but you got to win here
to get to State.
You are gonna win, right?
I can take these punks.
All right, first up
we have Andy...
(STUTTERING)
Randy Daytona
versus our four-time
Western Conference Champion,
The Hammer.
(CROWD CHEERING)
I don't know what the hell
he's talking about.
I'm still trying to figure out
if it's a dude or a chick.
(INHALING)
(EXHALING)
No mercy, Randy.
Have your grandma
pull the car around.
(BELL RINGING)
(PEOPLE CLAPPING)
Can you dig it?
(LAUGHING)
(EXCLAIMNG IN CONCERN)
(EXCLAIMING DELIGHTEDLY)
(MOCKING)
Tastes good.
I told you I was rusty.
I haven't competed
in 19 years.
Why don't you cut me
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"Balls of Fury" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/balls_of_fury_3516>.
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