Balls of Fury

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

NARRATOR :

1936, Jesse Owens.

1960, Cassius Clay.

And now in 1988,

the name on everyone's lips,

US table tennis champion,

Randy Daytona.

You've seen him

in Sports Illustrated, on

the Cinnamon Toast Crunch box.

You may even already own

his McDonald's

collector's glass.

NEWS REPORTER :

The golden boy

who iced Iceland in round one,

and checked off Czechoslovakia

in round two.

So why don't

we take a moment to meet

the real Randy Daytona?

Here he is showing us

his skills with

his lucky Def Leppard paddle

that's won him

over 200 amateur matches.

With him, as always, his coach

and father, Sergeant Pete

Daytona, of the US Marines.

Randy,

you're only 12 years old,

and already they're saying

that your name

will go down among those

of the greatest

Ping-Pong players

ever to take up the sport.

And right offhand,

I don't know

what those names are.

Randy,

the eyes of all America,

and indeed the entire world,

will be on you tonight.

(FANS CHEERING)

USA! USA! USA!

2.:
45 am. The moment

you've all been waiting for.

The men's table tennis

semifinals.

Tiny balls, bouncing for gold.

(CROWD CHEERING)

USA! USA! USA!

Now, presenting

the United States of America,

Randy Daytona!

ANNOUNCER :

Here he is,

entering to his unofficial

theme song, Rock of Ages,

by the super group

Def Leppard.

I love you, Randy!

Hey, big guy,

I just want to make sure

you're ready.

Have you seen my dad?

No.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Where were you?

You think I'd miss this?

You didn't put money on this,

did you?

Dad, you promised.

Try not to think about it,

okay?

Now, presenting East Germany,

Karl Wolfschtagg!

Deutschland! Deutschland!

Deutschland! Deutschland!

May the best man win, huh?

I will destroy him!

Beat that Kraut!

ANNOUNCER :

Breathtaking intensity

surrounds the table

as Daytona and Manslaughter

fire away at each other.

Daytona's in the groove.

Both men distancing themselves

from the table now.

There's a high elevation lob.

Tremendous accuracy.

And a smash by Manslaughter.

And Randy Daytona

makes the save.

One more smash!

And now Daytona goes back.

Farther back!

Back!

And the crowd rises

in anticipation!

He stretches.

Look out!

Sh*t!

(EXCLAIMING)

(EXCLAIMING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Randy? Randy? You okay?

Randy? Randy?

Randy Daytona,

unable to finish.

Match forfeit to East Germany.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(BOOING)

Randy?

I'm going to Disneyland!

(CROWD LAUGHING)

Come on, guys.

Can't we talk about this?

Mr. Feng does not

extend credit.

Gentlemen, time is money.

Chop-chop.

Jesus!

NEWS REPORTER :

Well, that's the way the

cookie crumbles here in Korea.

As Reno's golden boy

was humiliated

in the semifinals,

and if he lives to be 100,

he'll never live down

that Disneyland line.

If he returns to America,

a life of shame.

MAN :
(SINGING)

Two tickets to paradise!

Won't you pack your bags?

We'll leave tonight

I got...

Two tickets to paradise!

I got...

Two tickets to paradise!

Let's go to heaven

Yeah! Thank you!

Take a bow, honey.

There she is!

All right,

let's keep the love going

for our very next act,

The Peppermill's

very own Ping-Pong wizard...

Randy Daytona!

Randy Daytona!

Come on, let's bring him out.

How's everybody feeling

this afternoon?

All right!

(CROWD CLAPPING)

I don't want to work.

I just want to bang

on these drums

all day long. Am I right?

Hey!

Thank you!

(FARTS)

Hey, a volunteer!

How you doing, buddy?

I was just going

for more Cheese 'n Mac.

Stop!

Thank you!

(GLASS BREAKING)

(SCREAMING)

We're in the biz

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