Bald Page #6

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You hit this 50 times, fast.

# My friends are all laughing #

# My love life is a joke #

# I forget all my problems #

# And take another toke #

# Romance ain't no worry #

# When you're getting high #

# So I ain't in no hurry #

# My hand will get me by #

# Yes, I'm lonely #

[coughs]

Oh, that's delicious.

Do you have any sodas?

That is a luxury

I cannot afford, O.B.

Max.

We have a question.

Ladies.

I think you just saved

Andrew Wood's life.

Will you give me a second?

- Fine with us.

O.B.

One day when I make my money,

me and you are gonna open

up a restaurant of our own.

And what are we gonna call that?

The Ultimate Biscuit.

Yeah.

And when people meet

there, they're gonna say,

"Dude, meet me at the

f***in' Ulti Bisc."

We'll only serve gigantic portions,

and only the most gigantic people

will be allowed to work there.

God, a place where I

could eat in freedom, right?

This sounds wonderful, man.

The walls will be decorated

with posters of obese people

enjoying life through feast.

And the centerpiece is gonna be

an all-you-can-eat bar

of cake, pie, ice cream...

- Pudding.

- And milk shakes.

And it won't be a bar, no.

This will be an island.

Your words are like

chocolate poetry to me.

When will they be so?

Soon, my portly friend, soon.

Ladies, once upon a time,

you said you wanted to be a

part of my internet business.

- Mm-hmm.

- Does that offer still stand?

- Yeah.

- Why?

Well, it's gonna require

you to take off your clothes.

And why would I do that?

Not just you.

Shirtless Cynthia too.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about the future.

You can open up a

hundred fashion companies

if you listen to me.

All I need are your bodies, your trust,

and your phone tree of hot women.

Well, how many do you need?

Well, how many can you bring?

[Coughs]

We start tomorrow.

is something every

man should experience,

and if not that, they

should at least see it.

People.

This is gonna be a celebration,

a celebration of the human body.

What can I do to help, Max?

You're gonna be head

of security with the B.

Oh, the B rules.

Give me your dad's credit card.

Hmm?

The f*** is going on here?

Max, where are you?

In the basement.

Come on down, little buddy.

Hi.

What's this?

This is your new business.

Welcome to the big time, little buddy.

What is it?

Have a seat.

Have a drink.

I want to explain something to you.

For years now, I have watched

men get rich off the internet

while I just stood idly by.

Well, all that's gonna change, Woodsy,

because me and you,

we're going into the adult

entertainment industry.

Go on.

This equipment you see before you

will be used to service lonely men,

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