Bad Johnson Page #2
- I'm gonna grab my insurance.
- Wait.
What's a good exercise for, right here?
Um. You know. Like uh, hip whatevers.
What about, squats?
Sure yea. Those too.
Ever been blown in a luxury SUV?
Not recently.
- Baby!
- Oh. Oh! Wow.
What took you so long?
I got in an accident.
- Oh my God. Are you okay?
- I mean I'm fine.
I'm fine. I mean it was just a fender bender.
And it won't happen again.
- It won't happen again?
- Well
Nothing. Nothing. No no no.
Let's eat. Yea? Yea?
We can eat after.
- Well but I mean I'm really hungry today.
- I know, so am I.
Dinner can wait. I can't.
Oh but please. Don't. Do.
That. [Zipper Unzips]
- Why are there teeth marks on your dick?
- What?
There are teeth marks on your dick.
- What. I. Um.
- Did someone give you a blow job?
Not that I can recall.
Then why are there teeth marks on your dick?
I hit that car pretty hard.
Who's hair is this?
You know what? That looks like,
Nah your pubes are not that long.
Typically yea. But ya know you get
that rogue pube that grows faster
- Than the others.
- It's not even the same color as your head.
Okay. I mean. Who the hell are ya?
- Like Encyclopedia Brown?
- Yes. And this is the case of the missing blow job.
I did not get a blow job okay?
And I would never
Ever cheat on you. Ever. Ever.
Is this a press on nail?
Well that's not good. Sh*t.
Get out.
- Baby.
- Get out.
- Just come here for a second.
- Touch me and I will chop off your dick.
I mean you don't mean that.
Do you?
Idiot.
Babe.
What the ftt? You have a meat cleaver?
- Who actually owns a meat cleaver?
- Get out. I never, ever
- Wanna see you again.
- Like ever, ever?
Ever.
- Go!
- Okay. Okay. I'm going.
You know, I just want you to know though.
- That I was falling
- Get out!
Oh Sh*t.
Sh*t.
Babe.
Could I get my sandwich back?
Jesus.
Again. Are you f***ing kidding me Rich?
I mean. But it. Look it was not all my fault.
Ok. I mean this chick. She seduced me.
You could've said no.
Nah. I. Ok. Look.
You try to defeat a boner
when you've got a mouth
staring it down.
I mean it's not as easy as you'd think. Okay?
It's really not.
I don't know. Things just haven't been
the same since Kimmy cheated on me.
Now you're blaming her?
Melissa was right.
What are you talkin' about?
Nothin'.
No no no no. F***. tell me what
the f*** you're talkin' about.
This probably isn't the best
time to tell you. But Melissa
She posted some pretty f***ed up
things about you on the internet.
Like what?
You're afraid of ghosts. You
like to fart in the shower.
You're a craving man-child
with an inferiority complex
Who refuses to be held accountable
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"Bad Johnson" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 2 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/bad_johnson_3452>.
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