Austenland Page #5

Either way,

bell jar on the tummy.

Sucks out all

the vicious vapors.

And leeches on the ankles...

Andrews, shut up.

What?

Hi. Ladies and gents,

please take notice!

I've just got the schedule,

and look, it says we get

to go hunting on horseback.

Can you believe it?

Real horses and real guns!

Release the hounds!

Tally-ho.

A-hunting we will go.

The British are coming.

The British are coming!

Shall we go?

Shall we?

Hey, stable boy.

You're way too slow! Come on!

I've never shot

a hunting rifle before.

Now, the whole thing with the

gun, darling, is that you have to cock it.

Just hold the barrel. There.

And then gently

pull the trigger.

Have you ever

fired a loaded weapon before?

Actually, I think you might

be quite impressed by my...

Big cock.

... skills.

I will be.

Ow!

Just a little closer there.

Yeah,

I think I get the basics.

Ready, ladies?

Face down range.

Load. And make ready.

And, pull!

Fly in my eye.

My... Miss Erstwhile. What a

talented little nut you are.

Yeah.

I guess I get the basics of it.

I didn't think we were really

supposed to kill them.

What are we supposed

to eat for dinner?

Anyone for pheasant? Me.

Of course, all these

horses are thoroughbreds.

They come from the local stud.

Well, I'm too busy, you see.

There's something

wrong with the horse.

Crap Copper package.

Little bit tight. Have

to give you a rub down tonight.

Excuse me?

The horse.

Right, sorry.

There we go.

Oh!

Thank you.

I'll be back in

a crack with a new horse.

Okay.

Somewhere there's

a book of me

Waiting for someone to read it

And I really believe it

Just wish that

I could see it

And I keep losing track

of where I'm meant to be

If you know it you would be there

'Cause I know

that you're a good man

But you like

to keep that secret

Oh. Hi.

Did that stable

boy abandon you?

No, he's coming right back.

Well, I wasn't raised to leave

a woman alone in the woods.

I'm really... I'm fine.

Well, there's...

All right, come on.

Get up.

Both of us on the one horse?

I don't know if that's gonna

really work for me...

Right, are you ready?

One, two, three.

No, no.

Okay.

We're not gonna be able to outrun the

storm unless you straddle the horse.

Straddle... Not possible

in this rig. Sorry.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Get forward. Forward. That's it, more.

Forward? Okay. Well...

Take the reins.

Now, anyone who can shoot a gun

like that can ride a horse.

Come on.

Do you have me?

I've got you fine.

Thank you.

Jane.

Come here.

I know,

but it's a little hard...

No, your leg, your leg. No.

Yeah, okay.

Thank you.

Jane.

What the hell do you think you were

doing leaving her alone like that?

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