Austenland

Synopsis: Austenland is a romantic comedy about 30-something, single Jane Hayes, a seemingly normal young woman with a secret: her obsession with Mr. Darcy-as played by Colin Firth in the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice-is ruining her love life; no real man can compare. But when she decides to spend her life savings on a trip to an English resort catering to Austen-crazed women, Jane's fantasies of meeting the perfect Regency-era gentleman suddenly become more real than she ever could have imagined.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Jerusha Hess
Production: Sony Pictures Classics
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.3
Metacritic:
42
Rotten Tomatoes:
30%
PG-13
Year:
2013
97 min
$2,155,334
Website
1,823 Views


What separates the casual Jane

Austen fan from the aficionado?

Is it her admiration for the style

and manners of the Regency era?

The number of times

she has read Austen's novels?

Or her consuming love

for Mr. Darcy?

L-O-V-E-D-A-R-C-Y

Nice cup.

Thanks.

And it begins like any other

Since she was very young

Oh.

Sexy.

Okay.

I'll see you for lunch.

Yeah, okay.

You try to catch her eye

But she doesn't want to see

Miss Bennet...

This is the best part.

She's singing

my boy loves me

Unbelievable.

My boy loves me I know

Hey, Jane.

Ex-boyfriend alert.

Hey, Horseface.

Jimmy, what are you doing here?

Well, I heard you

broke up with Greg.

So that means you're free

to go bowling tonight.

Oops!

Jimmy! You know what?

If "no" was

unclear last time...

I don't wanna see you again.

I picked you on purpose, Jane Hayes.

Thirty plus, clock ticking.

I'm as good as it gets, baby.

A true aficionado

of Austen does so much more

than merely read her novels and

admire her world from afar.

Excuse me.

She finds her way here

to the world's only immersive

Austen experience.

Is that a Chihuahua?

It's a lamb. Shut up.

Just trying to hear it.

This looks really cheap.

I've toured the grounds

and it's not cheap.

This is high class.

This is big time.

Jane, are you really

gonna blow your entire

life savings on

an "Austen experience"?

Now, hold on just a second,

here at Sensuous Travel,

we are not just another

run-of-the-mill vacation place.

This is what we call

an "LC." A Life-Changer.

You get to play the heroine of

your very own Jane Austen story.

Would you like to

see some of the staff?

Yeah.

No.

Now this is Barnaby.

He's a vegan.

He enjoys nightly

dips in the pond,

and he has a pony

named Sparkles Pancake.

That is horrendous.

I also heard that people in those

days didn't wear underwear.

That's a lie.

It's not a lie.

Look, every stay at Austenland

ends with a real live ball,

as in ballroom,

as in happily ever after.

Do you understand

what I'm saying?

Totally.

Jane. So you go on some fancy vacation,

then what do you come home to?

Nothing except for

an empty bank account.

Why don't you save up

for a real life-changer?

Like what?

Well, like...

That's fine. Maybe come back

another time without your friend.

We'll get you squared away.

I think I can figure out some

kind of layaway program for you.

Thank you so much.

You guys take care. Thanks for being you.

Appreciate you.

Listen, this is my one chance to

really live in Austen's world. Okay?

I'm her biggest fan.

Come on.

No. No.

You used to be a fan.

You are an addict.

You don't have to go in there because

I'm packing. It's a mess in there.

You don't wanna go in there.

Oh, Janey.

It's gotten so much worse.

I love you.

It's a collector's item

and that's why I have it.

I have 10,000 a year.

I've changed my mind.

I totally support you

going to this place,

because I'm sure

that the fantasy

will not be as

fulfilling as you imagine.

I don't think you

know where I'm going.

We could make a wager on it.

Fine.

If I win,

you de-Austen your room.

Okay.

Fine.

And if you really must go, I

made you a little farewell gift.

You did?

Aw.

Wow.

Which historical era

is this supposed to be from?

Hey, I spent three

days working on it.

Come here, let's hug it out.

Thank you.

Okay.

When you get back, just clear

this crap out because it's weird.

It's a hobby.

It's really weird.

Ooh, baby, do you know

what that's worth?

Ooh, heaven is

a place on earth

They say in heaven

love comes first

We'll make heaven

a place on earth

Ooh, heaven is

a place on earth

When the night falls down

Oh!

Do you need a hand?

Yay, an American.

I can't understand what the natives say.

I think this is where we're

supposed to wait, right?

You're going to

the Darcy place, too?

Yes.

I memorized

the first three chapters

of Pride and Prejudice

when I was 13.

What's that?

Oh. Um...

So why are you

going to this place?

Because I'm gonna look great

in those wench gowns.

Ooh. Gosh, I hope they

give me a cape, too.

Were we not supposed

to come in costume?

Thank goodness

you're coming and not her.

I'm Jane, by the way.

Oh, goody.

Introductions. Look.

Hi.

I'm Miss Elizabeth Charming.

It's a pretty name, isn't it?

I requested it.

Yes, it's very beautiful.

I can't wait to pick a name.

How about Miss Pepperpot?

Or Miss Wiggly Wiggins?

Those are nice.

I knew this place

would be magical.

They even got us

a car from the 1800s.

Oh, thank you so much.

I'm Miss Charming.

This way.

Bloody Americans!

Mind the gap.

Sorry. I was told I was

supposed to wear a costume.

So was I.

God save the Queen!

Hey, do you think this

is the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang car?

It's smaller than I expected.

Welcome to the Regency era.

This is just a stop before

we go to the big house.

I am Mrs. Wattlesbrook.

Okay.

Miss Charming, I hope your

travel was endurable.

Oh, yes!

Jane Hayes.

Yes.

And I've been thinking

about my pseudonym,

and I was thinking

Miss Joyful, maybe?

Oh, yes. You've already

been assigned a name.

Miss Erstwhile.

Miss Erstwhile?

Martin.

Take their luggage in.

And get the carriage ready

to take us up to the manor.

Martin.

Ma'am.

Good luck.

Thanks.

Complete immersion

in the Regency era

is the only way to truly

appreciate Austen's England.

Wouldn't you say so,

Miss Charming?

Righto!

Just to avoid any confusion,

I'd like you to know that we do

offer several distinct experiences.

You have paid for

the Basic Copper package,

while the other

ladies in the party

are part of

the Platinum Elite package.

Oh. Okay.

I'm sure you'll understand there will

be some exclusions to your trip.

I mean, I'm just so

excited to be here,

and I've dreamed

about this for so long.

All of my guests

will experience

romance with one of our actors.

But I must emphasize

there is to be no touching

other than the necessary social graces.

Not a chance.

I also expect

all my guests to maintain

appropriate manners

and conversation

and to eschew

all things modern.

Any flagrant

disobedience will result

in the early

termination of your stay.

You don't have

to worry about me.

I know Austen's

books intimately.

A big fire for

a hot summer's day.

We need to push up

the sisters. There we go.

That's as far as I can go.

It's looking good.

Has it been a day or a week

As my eyes begin to close

So we have this absolutely

delightful chiffon piece.

And I don't know

how you feel about lavender.

I call it lilac.

"Lilac. "

This I do think is very

magnificent and elegant.

Salmon!

Salmon. Absolutely.

These dreams under my pillow

Kinda washes you out.

Of these white nights

Look how skinny I look

with my hand behind my back.

Let's go meet the men.

Okay.

I'm so sorry,

my dear, but I'm afraid

this carriage only

takes two passengers.

Okay.

Sorry.

Hey, do you think we'll be

robbed by some highwaymen?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes

Jerusha Hess

All Jerusha Hess scripts | Jerusha Hess Scripts

0 fans

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Austenland" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 24 Jul 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/austenland_3280>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.


    Quiz

    Are you a screenwriting master?

    »
    What does the term "protagonist" refer to in screenwriting?
    A The antagonist in a story
    B A minor character
    C The main character in a story
    D A supporting character