Austenland Page #4

The clock is ticking. Tick-took,

tick-took. Oh, bugger.

How unfortunate.

Excuse me.

Good duck.

Jane. Jane! Jane.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

You know, I know how it feels to

be treated badly by stupid men.

I really do.

Jane, come on.

Give me a hug.

Come on. At least it's not

gonna happen at this place.

Besides, you'll feel

totally different tomorrow.

Think about all the people in

the world that hang themselves.

And then the next day,

they feel different,

but there's nothing

they can do about it.

Don't hang yourself, Jane.

Mmm-hmm.

Anyway, if you need anything,

just call me. I'm right down the hall.

Well, actually,

I'm not right down the hall

because you're in the servants' wing.

You're in the creepy tower.

God, sometimes I think

about you here at night.

Must be really scary.

It's okay.

Anyway.

And, Jane,

the maid told me that...

FYI, she said don't

use the chamber pots.

Apparently the toilets

really do flush here,

and they don't know what to do

if it's just piled high.

Right.

Of course,

he made all his money

selling quicklime

on the continent.

You can never have enough whitewash,

as my grandfather used to say.

Then he contracted

dysentery and died.

Tap-tap.

Good morrow, sir.

'Tis I.

Shall we promenade?

Oh. Oh, I say.

Miss Erstwhile, do join us.

Yes, make haste.

I think I'll go

find some shade.

Really? How peculiar.

She's been too much in the sun.

Come, sir.

Your hunting excursion is commencing

on the upper

paddock at the stable

where you will be assigned

an appropriate mount.

Sorry.

Sorry.

I'm not spying on you.

I'm afraid you caught me

at an unladylike moment.

Mrs. Wattlesbrook will probably

rap my knuckles or something.

Tell me about it.

So you hail from

the former colonies?

I'm sorry, that's pretty bad. I'm not

really here to do the "ye olde" stuff.

I'm probably not supposed to be

talking to the servants anyway.

I thought I'd come here and be a total

pro at this, but I don't know...

Yeah. Maybe you need

a coach or something.

Yeah. I'm definitely not

supposed to talk to you.

And yet,

here you are.

That's... I have to...

Where are you?

Miss Erstwhile, there you are.

Yes, hello. I... I was

just saying to Nobley here

our divine Miss Erstwhile

seems to have escaped us.

And let us not see if

we cannot find her out...

I was hot so I stopped in here,

you know, and then I sat...

I say, Miss Erstwhile,

you are tongue-tied today.

What sordid secrets is your

mouth trying to hide from us?

No, no secrets. No.

Do tell me at once.

I simply must know.

Andrews!

Can't you see

that she's unwell?

No, I'm fine.

Thank you...

Unwell? Perhaps you have a

touch of the vapors? Or mange?

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