As Cool as I Am Page #4

Geez, Kenny!

Aah... geez, Kenny...

- So you're lookin' for a job?

- Maybe.

And you think you have a shot at

General Contractor?

Just taking a look at what's

out there.

- How was school?

- The same.

The seminar thing was

about pride today.

Go figure.

You're what I take pride in

you know... raising you.

I don't know how much

credit I can take

but I'm really proud of who you are.

Mom, what is the

deal with hand jobs?

How do you know if you're

doing the right th-

Lucy, please. I'm sorry, okay!

I'm going to a party

Friday night with Kenny.

Well, that sounds like fun.

Probably not.

But I do feel strong parental

avoidance phase coming on.

This is epic.

You know there are people who

actually look back on high school

as being, like, the best time of their lives.

- Arm flying.

- Hey, I knew you'd come.

- Hey... Kenny, right?

- Hey ya, Timmo. Get us beered up, buddy.

Man, I thought the catcher

was going to cry after

he miffed the tag at me on home plate.

I know!

- You were amazing.

- I did it all for you.

We drinking here or what?

- Rage!

- Rage?

To rage!

It's like I was saying at break, homie,

don't be sleepin' on

the sophomores, man.

To Lucy Diamond. The hottest

b*tch in North Central High.

Hey, who are you calling a b*tch?

You're adorable.

Make a hole. Vomit express!

- Kenny!

- He's fine.

He's fine. He just needs a little air.

- Hey!

- What?

Hey, you have a delusional

sense of confidence.

Kenny!

One... step... at a time.

You okay?

Can you please don't do that?

Okay...

- I love you, Lucy. I do!

- Oh, Kenny... Kenny!

Kenny! You are not in love.

You're drunk.

Justin said that... that you're

hot and you love him now.

Justin's a meat-head. I mean, he's cute

but dumb! He doesn't even get sarcasm.

- You know... you think he's cute!

- No. I don't think he's cute. Come on!

No, I don't think he's cute.

Okay, you are so heavy.

Don't step in that!

Yeah...

Hello!

I'm home!

- Chuck?

- Lainee?

Hey, babe.

Come here! There's my girl.

How are ya'?

- Make me a muscle.

- Dad!

No more sawing.

I wanna be a chef.

All done being daddy's

little lumberjack, huh?

- Welcome home.

- So... what's happened?

So... you left March 12th at

eight fifteen. Mom and I went

to the diner's. She got an omelet,

I had pancakes and they...

- Yeah... okay, then what?

- I drove home!

- You drove home?

- Yeah!

In town?

Well, mom told me to come straight

home, but I did go to the park.

Wait, mom let you drive alone?

Dad, I was... I was just trying

to impress Kenny.

And there was this other guy there

who made me kiss him, so...

What!?

Some b*tch-tarded assholian

- made you kiss Kenny?

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