Another WolfCop Page #3

---

[GUITAR RIFT PLAYS]

Rookie.

Tina.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Yeah,

I cracked that package.

I don't know.

Some kind of, uh, lizard goo.

I don't know.

This is where Willie

would've been really helpful.

Okay, bye.

[SCREAMING]

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Well, that f***in' hurt,

you dick!

- Willie?

- Hi, Lou.

Hey man, before we, you know,

hug it out and all that sh*t,

I gotta know one thing.

any of this goo yours?

[BELL CHIMES ON TV]

[ALARM SOUNDS]

- Shoplifter!

- Aah!

[ALL GRUNTING]

WOMAN:
Aah! Help!

Cheers, man!

Nothing like a f***ing

Dale Ale.

So, how much

do you remember?

I remember like,

I don't f***ing ==

Bits and bobs, man, like...

There was, like, this beautiful

big, f***ing bright light.

[GRUNTS]

Which I think was a distraction,

because behind me,

there was like a huge

bulbous, smooth shaft...

WILLIE:
Fellas!

What is this?

...that penetrated me...

[SCREAMING]

...with gusto.

Oh, that's kinda nice.

And they were some weird f***ing

weird reptilioid dudes, man.

[WILLIE SCREAMING]

They, um...

They f***ing violated me, Lou.

What do you know

about Shapeshifters?

Well, if we're just gonna

gloss over what I just said

about the f***ing

huge bulbous shafts

and no means yes

in their land,

I don't know, man.

Shifters are

my f***ing sisters bag.

I'm more about, like,

f***ing drones

and chem-trials

and Sasquatch.

Hey!

Did you ever find

that f***ing Sasquatch, man?

You know,

I was this close, Lou!

LOU:
Willie! Focus.

- Shifters.

- Okay, sh*t, uh...

So, well, basic theory is,

they're trying

to control the world

by assuming the identities

of f***ing regular folks, man.

I mean...

Holy f***, Lou!

Did one of them

take my place, man?

Like, how much did I miss?

Oh, do I still own

the f***ing gun shop?

Am I still the coolest

motherf***er in Woodhaven?

Does Tina Walsh

still love me?

Lou, how long

was I gone for?

A few months.

I wouldn't sweat it.

Don't swea...

Well, easy for you to say, man.

You weren't f***ed

right in your identity.

SWALLOWS:
Leveraging

my excellent palate

and Darkstar technology,

we have strategically

created Chicken Milk Beer,

so that everyone can have

a little taste of my success.

So, slam a cold cock

and unleash a better you.

[STOMACH RUMBLES]

Ohh.

Hey Lou, um...

[BELCHES]

[STOMACH RUMBLES,

WILLIE GROANS]

Is it getting hot in here, man?

No, not really.

You got a little boys room?

[FARTS]

Hey. Down the hall.

- [FARTING]

- Oh, sh*t.

[DIAL TONE]

[PHONE BEEPS]

Yeah, Tina?

You're never gonna believe

what I found in that crate?

WILLIE:
Um, Lou?

Yeah, is everything okay?

Well, uh,

is there any chance

you feel like going on

a gitch run, man?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes