Animal Crackers Page #5

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beautiful tomorrows.

Hideous footsteps creaking along

the misty corridors of time,

and in those corridors I see figures.

Strange figures.

Weird figures:

Steel 186, Anaconda 74,

American Can 138.

Where were we?

Oh yes, we wanted to marry.

What do you think? Should we?

- Marriage is a noble institution.

The foundation of the American home.

- Yes, but it can't be enforced.

It was put over on us

while our boys were over there

and our girls over here.

I've waited at these stairs

for years for just this moment.

Captain, where are you going?

- I'm sorry, ladies,

we'll have to postpone the wedding

for a few days. Maybe for a few years.

Before I get married, I'm gonna

sow a couple of wild oats.

The Captain's so amusing.

- Isn't he charming?

That's the famous Beaugard, eh?

Great picture, isn't it?

You've seen it before?

- I spent 3 days in Paris copying it.

You did?

- Me and a million other artists.

I bet yours was better than the rest.

- It wasn't bad.

I'll show it to you sometime.

Listen. - What?

- Mother's going to unveil it tonight.

Yeah?

Suppose when she unveils it,

it's not the Beaugard at all.

Suppose it's yours.

- You want to swap mine for his?

Exactly.

- You're crazy. What good would it do?

What good? Listen.

They'll unveil it. Chandler

will tell everyone how fine it is.

They'll cheer like mad, and then

we'll tell them who really did it.

They'll say you're a great artist.

You'll get 6 commissions,

and we can be married and

divorced in no time.

Sound great. But what if

they don't like my painting?

Isn't the chance worth taking?

I see you're admiring my picture?

- Yes, yes.

Your picture? - Yes, my picture.

- It don't look like you.

Some place I met you before.

Your face is very familiar.

I am one of the most

well-known men in America.

The newspapers

keep running my photograph.

You're not Abe Kabibble?

- Nonsense

If you're not Abe Kabibble,

who are you?

Vow please.

My name is Roscoe W. Chandler.

I don't get about the name.

Some place I met you before.

Were you ever in Sing Sing?

- Please.

No I got it. Joliet!

- Let me alone.

Alright. Don't run away.

Leavenworth!

I've never been in these places.

I've spent most of my time in Europe.

I've got it now.

You come from Czechoslovakia.

You're wrong. I've never been there.

Hey, come here.

- I tell you. Get away from me.

You remember him?

He come from Czechoslovakia.

You are wrong. I told you before.

He come from Czechoslovakia.

And I know who it is.

Abie, the fish peddler from

Czechoslovakia. - Ridiculous.

We prove it. He had a birthmark.

Please, what are you trying?

Let me alone!

There it is! The birthmark!

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