Animal Crackers Page #4

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Something has been beating in me like

the incessant tom-tom in the jungle.

Something that I must ask you.

- What is it, Captain?

Would you wash a pair of socks for me?

- I'm surprised.

It's been on my mind for weeks.

It's my way of saying I love you.

I love you. I've never been...

- Captain!

Pardon me. Am I intruding?

Are you intruding? Just when

I had her on the 5-yard line.

I should say you were intruding.

Pardon, that you are intruding.

I was using the subjunctive

instead of the past tense.

Yes, we're way past tents,

we're living in bungalows now.

Mrs. Whitehead, you haven't met

Captain Spaulding, have you?

No

How are you? - How are you?

- Fine, thank you. How are you?

And how are you?

That leaves you one up.

Did anyone ever tell you

you had beautiful eyes? - No

Well, you have.

And so have you.

He shot her a glance.

As a smile played around his lips.

I've never seen

four more beautiful eyes in my life.

Well, three anyway.

You two girls have everything.

You're tall and short, slim and stout.

Just the kind of girl I crave.

We three would make an ideal couple.

You have beauty, charm, money.

You have got money?

If not, we can quit right now.

The Captain is charming, isn't he?

- I'm fascinated.

I'm fascinated, too. Right on the arm.

Fascinated, whim-wham!

If I were Eugene O'Neill, I could tell

you what I really think of you two.

You're fortunate the Theater Gill

isn't putting this on.

And so is The Gill.

Pardon me

while I have a strange interlude.

You couple of baboons, what makes

you think I'd marry either one of you?

Strange how the wind blows tonight.

It reminds me of poor old Marsden.

How happy I could be

with either of these two,

if both of them just went away.

Well, girls, will you marry me?

Which one of us? - Both of you.

Let's all get married. It's my party.

Party... Party...

Here I am talking of parties.

I came down for a party. What happens?

Nothing Not even ice cream.

The gods look down and laugh.

The world would be better for children

if the parents had to eat the spinach.

What do you say?

We all gonna get married?

- All of us? - All of us.

That's bigamy.

- Yes, and that's big of me, too.

Let's be big for a change.

One woman and one man was enough

for your grandmother,

but who wants to marry her?

Nobody Not even your grandfather.

Think of the honeymoon. Strictly

private. No other woman allowed.

Well, maybe one or two,

but no men. I may not go myself.

You want a companionate marriage?

It has its advantages. You'd live with

your folks, I'd live with your folks.

And you'd sell Fuller brushes.

Living with your folks...

The beginning of the end.

Drab yesterdays shutting out

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