Americans in Bed Page #4

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this dog.

Ha ha!

No, he's not

a cock block!

Ha ha ha!

He totally is.

OK, OK.

He is not.

We try to have

Sexual Sunday,

as we call it;

like, everybody's sleeping,

kids are out, whatever.

Kids are probably

watching.

Oh, they're wa--no.

Ha! OK.

So she'll throw

the dog out,

and then we'll have

a little--I put on

some music,

put on whatever and make it

nice and comfortable,

we come back,

and here's what I hear

at the door.

[Scratching]

For an hour,

"Arf, arf, arf!"

Ha ha ha!

Look, he knows.

That's what he does

every Sunday morning.

He knows.

He's a kind of problem.

We got to change Sexual

Sunday to Sexual Saturday.

Maybe it'll throw

the dog off a little bit.

Sexuality, sexually,

everything's wonderful

between us, but it's not

the priority.

I have friends that

wish that they had

the relationship

that Patty and I have

when it comes to

touching each other,

kissing each other,

flirting, touching,

grabbing.

My guys, they--

it's not even about sex

for men when you get older.

It's about affection

and wanting to feel love,

and if you find time

to do it when the dog's

not scratching

and the kids not diving

on you, it's great.

Ha ha!

Oh.

[Giggles]

Well, this is

my second marriage.

And he's number 4

for me.

Yes, well,

I got married at 17

and divorced at 19,

and married at 21,

divorced at 24.

When was that? Divorced,

um--can't keep track.

Yeah, I know, you

need a scorecard.

Anyway,

then I got married at 25--

or 27 and got--yeah,

I got married at 27

and got divorced at 29.

Pretty much my marria--

this is the longest

marriage I've ever had.

Pretty much

my marriages have--

the longest one was

two and a half years

prior to Guy,

so I kind of, like,

got married, divorced,

married, divorced.

But then,

I was raised Catholic,

and Catholic girls--

you're supposed to marry

the man you sleep with,

so I kind of had

that theme running

through my life.

We met in high school.

She was a cheerleader

and played sports.

Well, she's told me

near recently that

all the women,

all the girls

thought I was gay...

No, I--

which explains

my problem finding

a date, you know.

Ha ha ha!

She did reveal that

to me here recently

which, you know,

I should have

divorced her right then

for that comment.

Ha ha!

I said I thought

you were gay.

Oh, you did.

I see.

I didn't say

everybody else thought

you were, just me.

Well, that's not the way

it sounded to me.

I didn't even know

what gay was

when I was 16,

but, you know,

I just thought

you were different.

I was monogamous, OK?

I had a girlfriend

for the whole year,

school year,

pretty much every year

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