Amazon Women on the Moon Page #5

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but I know the maitre d;

You know,

I gotta tell you...

I never go on blind dates,

but, uh...

I just have a feeling

that this might be special.

Jerry? Before we leave,

do me one small favour, will you?

Sure. What?

Would you mind showing me a credit card

and a valid driver's licence?

- You're kidding. Why?

- I'd like to run

a ''couple compatibility'' check.

What the heck is that?

You know,Jerry,

it's tough being a single girl in the big city.

You meet all kinds

of phoneys and creeps.

That's why this machine

comes in handy.

I just enter your I.D.,

and the central computer

will tell me about your background.

[ Chuckles ] I don't want a bank loan.

I just want to take you out.

I know, but I'd feel better running a check.

Two I.D.'s, please.

You're serious.

- [ Machine Beeps ]

- It'll just take a minute.

- This is ridiculous, but, uh--

- [ Punching Number Pad ]

- Here's, uh--

- Three-one-six.

- That's a cute picture. [ Chuckles ]

- MasterCard.

I don't know how I ever got along

without one of these.

Changed my life.

Feel the same way

about my VCR.

Ooh. Right now I'm taping

Sophie's Choice with Meryl Streep.

- I love Meryl Streep.

- Oh, I am so into her.

[ Sighs ]

- [ Printer Buzzing ]

- Here it comes now.

- [ Laughs ]

- [ Bell Dings ]

- All that about me? Geez.

- They are very thorough.

- [ Giggles ] This is great!

- What? What?

- Oh.

- What do you got there?

- Uh-oh. [ Sighs ]

- Uh-oh? What's-- What's uh-oh?

Jerry...

does the name Debbie Rothenberg

mean anything to you?

Uh-- Debbie Rothenberg.

Uh--

Oh, yeah.

I think I went out with her once or twice.

You had sex with her on the second date,

and then you never called her again.

- I hate when guys do that.

- It says all that?

[ Scoffs ] Does the phrase

''You're not only beautiful...

but you're someone I feel I can open up to''

mean anything to you?

[ Chuckles ]

I'm not surprised.

You've used that line on your last 1 6 dates.

Look, this is ridiculous.

Debbie-- Uh, Karen,

I think...

that we have something

very special here.

- You're not like the other women you--

- ''You meet in the city.''

See what I mean?

And,Jerry...

I could never get serious

about someone who's selfish in bed.

- ''Who's selfish in bed''?

- Well, how would you describe a man...

who satisfies his own needs

and rolls over and goes to sleep?

- I never did that in my life!

- Eleven times!

- You want names and dates?

- No. No, I do not! Look, hey, hold it.

Anyway, that is just a small fraction

of the hundreds of times...

I've been intimate

with women.

We're exaggerating a little,

aren't we,Jerry?

The record only shows

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