Amazon Women on the Moon

Synopsis: A series of short sketches, most of which parody late-night television and the low-budget movies one often finds there. Other skits include a man being attacked by his apartment, a funeral hosted by classic comedians, and a teen-age boy's big night turning into a nightmare.
Genre: Comedy, Sci-Fi
 
IMDB:
6.2
Rotten Tomatoes:
59%
R
Year:
1987
85 min
$548,696
53 Views

1

[ Brake Sets ]

[ Humming ]

- [ Rings ]

- Hello?

No. You got

the wrong number.

Yeah, but ain't no

Thelma here, man.

[ Lounge ]

[ Blows Nose ]

[ Muttering ]

- [ Garbage Disposal Grinds ]

- [ Grunts ]

[ Choking, Whimpering ]

[ Whimpering, Screams ]

- [ Disposal Stops ]

- [ Gasping ]

[ Water Running ]

[ Water Shuts Off ]

-Jesus!

- [ Phone Rings ]

- [ Continues Ringing ]

- I'm comin'!

What? Man, there ain't

no Thelma here!

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

- [ Electricity Crackling ]

- [ Screeches ]

[ Panting ]

God.

[ TVSizzling ]

[ Creaking ]

[ Loud Crash ]

[ Phone Rings ]

[ Continues Ringing ]

- [ Ringing Stops ]

- [ Shouting ] What?

Ain't no f*ckin' Thelma

here, man!

Look, the bitch don't

live here! F*ck you too!

[ Screams ]

Shit! F*ck!

[ Grunts, Screams ]

[ Screaming ]

Hello. I'm Dr Warren G. Easterbrook...

Chairman of the President's

Commission on Education...

and I would like to talk to you

about an ever-growing problem--

the short attention span

of today's youth.

Weaned as they are on television,

young people today...

can't seem to pay attention

for more than a few mo--

[ Man ] Pethouse Video presents

an in-depth...

up close and personal look...

at Pethouse Plaything

Taryn Steele.

[ Woman Narrating ]

Oh, so many neat things

have happened to me in my life--

being named homecoming queen,

making the cheerleading squad.

But the neatest thing ever was

when I was recently chosen...

the Pethouse Plaything

of the Month.

But being a Plaything

hasn't changed me.

I'm still the same Taryn.

When I was first chosen,

I was, like, really immature.

But I've grown so much

since then.

I can hardly believe it's me.

I'm a beach person

and a night person.

I really feel sorry for anyone

who doesn't live in California...

'cause we've got it all--

the mountains, the sun.

And, like, there's no humidity.

It really blows me away.

Here, out of the public eye,

I can just fade into the crowd.

In New York, I get hassled all the time.

I don't understand it.

Laguna offers me

peace and solitude...

away from the pressure

of being a Plaything.

Here in Laguna,

I can just let my mind go blank.

Art is my life.

I love to browse

Laguna's art galleries...

and my dream is to one day...

have some of my things

hanging here.

But my real strength

comes from my family...

and my strong

religious upbringing.

I'll always be grateful to my mom and

dad and the values they've given me...

which help me take on

the awesome responsibilities...

of Plaything of the Month.

Selma, look at this reception.

- [ Click ]

- Beaver, did you bring home

a note from your teacher today?

Oh, no, Dad. That's one of your jokes

I haven't heard before.

- [ Woman ] Record

warm temperatures tomorrow.

- Unbelievable!

Best investment I ever made.

[ Kiss ]

[ Weathercaster Continues, Indistinct ]

[ Sighs ]

You haven't been out

of this house in two weeks.

Lows will warm up

just a bit.

What the hell has happened

to my remote?

Sunny skies

for the remainder of the day.

Murray?

Embedded in those clouds.

And here in the southern--

Excuse me, sir.

We're on the air.

Selma!

Get me out of here!

I must've pressed

the wrong button.

Murray, what are you

doing on the weather?

I don't know. Press something.

Bring me back!

Here!

[ Man ] Swung on,

and it's a high fly ball to centre field.

- Wait a minute! There's a fan on the field!

-[ Crowd Booing ]

Make me wanna stay

If this is it

- Doo wah

- Now I'm trapped in a rock video!

Anything but this!

If this ain't love

you better let me go

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"Amazon Women on the Moon" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2019. Web. 19 Nov. 2019. <https://www.scripts.com/script/amazon_women_on_the_moon_2643>.

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