Almost Friends Page #4

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- Uh-huh.

- I appreciate it.

- We're gonna go in the car now.

- Watch the head.

- Watch his...

- Thanks for your help.

- Yeah, no worries.

Make sure he gets some water.

- Don't throw up.

- Oh god.

Oh, how are your shoes?

Well, ironically enough, I asked

for the vomit-covered model

when I bought them,

but they were all sold out.

- Ah.

- Yeah.

Come on, honey.

I've really gotta go.

- I'll see you. Okay.

- I'll see you.

- You look so happy!

- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

- Ah, it could've been worse.

- Not really.

You a**holes.

I thought you left me.

Almost! Almost got away clean.

Hey, Charlie, who was that

cute girl you were talking to?

- Hmm?

- Hmm?

What? What did I say?

Thanks.

Enjoy.

One cheeseburger.

- How's your mother?

- Fine.

And you? Still cooking?

Mmm. Here and there.

My little boy.

The four-star chef.

Are you depressed, Charles?

You don't seem like yourself.

What are you talking about? You

haven't even seen me in two years.

Two years isn't so long.

You're still working

in this sh*t hole.

You know what you need?

You need a career.

- You need a career.

- I have a career.

Private detective.

- You're a private detective?

- Private detective.

I really think

it's my true calling.

I haven't gotten

hired yet or anything

but the whole thing

just feels right.

I've been a fast learner.

So how long you in town for?

Huh? A couple days.

A week or two at the most.

You know, I'm staying at the

Bryson's motel off highway 65

and I was just wondering...

Maybe I could stay with you.

Think your mother would mind?

I'm a little short

on cash right now.

There's no way.

Charlie, I'm your dad.

Talk to her.

There's no way.

Just talk to her.

There's no way!

He said it was only

gonna be a few days.

That's what he said thirty years

ago and I ended up married to him!

He could stay in my room.

Charlie, no.

Mom. Please.

- Ah, look at that. You still got it.

- Yeah.

Let me see that.

Bring it on over here.

Ninety-five.

Last time Orlando

won the series.

Remember when

I got that for you?

I'm gonna go sleep

on the couch downstairs.

No, stay with me up here!

Too crowded.

If three's company,

how can two be a crowd?

Your mother mad?

Just try and stay out of her way.

She'll get over it.

Okay.

Wouldn't be the first time.

It smells like donkey here.

You didn't have to come.

Is that that girl again?

Oh, my god, you're sick. You're sick!

I'm gonna call the police!

Yeah, well, good.

At least in jail

I won't have to hear your voice ringing

in my head every three seconds.

Why don't you just go

and say hello?

I would feel creepy.

You are!

I'm not! I'm...

Jesus, what's your problem?

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