Almost Friends Page #5

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Just messing with you.

You should go and talk to her.

You're like the greatest

guy ever, Charles.

She has a boyfriend

who is a track star.

Oh, whatever.

Damn.

That is fast.

Ooh.

- You all right?

- Mmm.

Yeah, it's my stomach again.

Maybe you're pregnant.

I'm not pregnant!

How do you know?

Because I'm careful.

God, can you imagine?

Brad would kill himself.

There's a sign you're in

a healthy relationship.

Hey. What's up?

Nothing.

I just wanted to stop by

and say hello.

I was in the neighborhood, so...

Okay. Yeah, I'm really

busy right now.

It's getting

really hectic, so...

Mmm.

- Right.

- Yeah.

See you later.

Okay.

Take care.

Now that wasn't

too awkward or anything.

I want a shower

just witnessing that.

Charlie!

Hey, I get off

at 6:
00 tomorrow.

I'm gonna meet

a friend downtown,

but maybe you wanna walk me there?

If you're in the neighborhood?

Yeah.

You're the man.

Oh, yeah.

People like you.

Girls like you.

Girls like you.

And they would if you

knew more of them,

but you live with your parents.

You're a loser.

No. Come on!

Come on, Charles!

You're a good, humble guy.

Admitting you're humble while

staring at yourself in the mirror

is probably the least

humble thing you can do

but you just gotta relax. Relax!

You live a completely

normal life.

You just gotta have

a little bit of pride.

Have some pride.

Have some pride.

Have some...

Have some...

Have some pride!

Oh, hey, hon. Sorry.

Forgot my towel on the bed.

I walk almost everywhere.

Helps me think.

What do you think about?

I guess I think about all I could

get done if I stopped thinking.

- Oh.

- What?

No, that's original.

I mean, even if it is annoyingly

self-defeating. No offense.

But, no, I just thought you

were gonna pull out some crap

about how all you think about

are cute animals or world peace.

Or something like that.

Oh, you mean you

didn't catch that?

That little pretentious bit

was supposed to be a metaphor

for how much

I like cute animals.

- And world peace.

- And world peace.

In fact, I want world

peace for all animals.

And I'm doing this Noah's ark project

next month if you wanna help.

It should only take 40 days

and 40 nights or so.

Right. After 40,

your ark's built, no?

Or 80, yeah, but who's counting?

- I'm not counting.

You been here before?

Yeah. Yeah, a few times.

When I was a kid it was my dream

to have my own restaurant.

Not anymore?

Uh, I don't know.

Can you cook?

Uh... that's what they tell me.

I wish I could cook.

I can't even make cereal.

- Or coffee.

- A**hole.

Wait. So how come you work at a movie

theater instead of a restaurant?

Sensitive subject?

No, not really. I just...

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