Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls Page #4

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We all make mistakes.

Quite an auspicious dwelling

for a filthy, flying weasel.

Please, Mr. Ventura!

That is sacred ground. I'm sorry,

but only the Wachati are allowed there.

Take it easy.

I'm the lougie guy, remember?

Yes, yes, Chief. Thank you.

Thank you.

The chief says that unless

the sacred bat is returned...

...before the marriage of the princess,

the Wachati tribe will meet their death.

What type of bat are we talking about?

The great white bat, of course.

Crepuscular Chiroptera?

But to the natives:

Shikaka.

Shikasha!

Shish kebab.

"Shawshank Redemption."

Chicago!

You're out of there!

Go on. You're gone. Go on!

Were you going to eat these?

I've got to inspect that cage.

My, my, my.

This fruit paste is delicious!

The pottery is lovely!

It's made from guano.

Guano?

That sounds so familiar.

Bat droppings.

It's a chief resource of the Wachati.

They use it to make many things.

Yummy!

Now this is really fascinating.

This is a great Wachati tradition.

The virgin's dance of seduction.

I am now a holy man.

I think of women only

as mothers of our children.

They are a sanctuary for

the reproductive organs.

A temple to house

the miracle of procreation.

Do you have $1?

Thank you so much!

I've not danced in years!

Hi.

Don't mind me.

Sleep.

Sleep!

Fe... Fi!

Fo... fum!

I smell the fingerprints of scum!

Better dust the place.

Totally clean.

Not one damn clue.

Unless...

Here she comes. Oh, boy.

Holy, holy, holy, holy.

Good thoughts in, bad thoughts out.

You have come to help us.

We are in...

...great appreciation.

You...

...speak English.

Yes!

The missionaries came with books.

You are very good with that!

It's incredibly accurate.

Care to try?

Not bad!

Try again. Relax your shoulders.

Breathe.

And release.

There you go!

You make me smile.

And yet...

...I am troubled.

You see...

...the man my father

wants me to marry...

...I am worried I will not please him.

I've never known a man.

I'd love to help.

But you see...

...I have vowed

to take a life of celibacy.

Well...

Perhaps this...

...will assist your decision.

Those are very nice.

But I am a child of light.

A pure spirit.

I'm no longer encumbered

by sexual appetites.

Oh, mama, oh, mama...

...oh, mama, oh, mama...

I'm so sorry Mr. Ventura...

That's okay.

I was just...

...practicing my mantra.

I thought you wanted

to visit the sacred caves?

I do!

Meet me outside in 10 minutes.

If I don't finish my meditation...

...I tend to get a little cranky.

Take care, now. Bye-bye, then.

Everything here seems good!

Big load off my mind!

You can speculate all you want,

but unless you check it out yourself...

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