Abbott and Costello Meet the Keystone Kops Page #6

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Tut-tut, my good man, that's

no way to talk to a lady.

Excuse me. Are you a director?

Yes.

Could you tell me your name?

Mack Sennett.

It's Mack Sennett.

That's not Mack Sennett.

Are you sure

you're Mack Sennett?

Sweetheart.

That's Mack Sennett.

Stop the music.

What's the matter, boss? I just

had a fight with my conscience.

And?

I won.

When we arrive at the

rendezvous, Mr. Jason...

you will attack

the heroine's plane.

As you dive in on her, you will

fire one burst of ammunition...

in an endeavor

to shoot her down.

You will keep firing,

until she bails out.

That is the end of the scene. Is

that clear? Yes, Mr. Toumanoff.

Is everything fixed, Hinds?

Don't worry, Chief. I've weakened

every strut in Piper's ship.

And if that don't

do the trick,

I put live ammunition

in Jason's guns.

Hinds, if I was not the

genius, I would say you were.

Stop.

Are you ready, Piper?

Yes, sir.

The only thing I want to

tell you, Mr. Toumanoff...

every time I take one foot

off the ground, I get dizzy.

Mr. Piper, I personally have taken

every precaution for your safety.

Now, today you are doubling

our heroine...

who is flying to Washington for

a peace treaty with the Indians.

But, Mr. Toumanoff, there were no

airplanes when we were fighting the Indians.

Can I help it if I'm ahead

of my time? Do not interrupt.

I'm sorry.

You are flying toward the setting

sun... But, Mr. Toumanoff...

if Washington is in the east

and the sun sets in the west...

In my pictures,

the sun sets...

where I want it to set.

Excuse me.

You continue like a bird,

flying toward the setting sun.

Suddenly, you hear the roar

of a motor. You turn.

You see the renegade in his plane,

diving at you with blazing guns.

You're about to be shot down.

You are trapped. Helpless.

What are you going to do?

Tell him.

I'm going to quit.

Wait a minute.

Nonsense.

You parachute to safety.

Hinds, put the parachute

on Mr. Piper.

No, you don't. I'm taking no

chances. I'll put it on him.

Climb into the plane, Mr. Piper.

The pilot will be right here.

What about the pilot? He'll

never get into the plane.

And Piper? I've taken

care of the control stick.

The plane will go up

but Humpty Dumpty will fall.

Good.

I'll take care of the blocks.

Music.

Ready?

All ready, Mr. Toumanoff.

Fast music.

Camera.

Action.

What happened? They don't

know how to fly a plane.

They don't? Mr. Toumanoff

ain't going to like this.

I didn't know you could drive a plane.

I can't but you're doing a good job.

Who's driving?

Mr. Snavely,

my plane took off without me.

Good. Good gracious. Piper

will be killed. Killed?

I hope Toumanoff

gets it on film.

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