Abbott and Costello Meet the Keystone Kops Page #5

---

Hello, my dear.

How.

How?

I don't know.

Well done, my boy.

Congratulations. Mister...

This is Mr. Piper. Willie

Piper. I'm Harry Pierce.

We'd better get out of here. The

Indians have got us surrounded.

Mr. Piper, you can't tell me you're

afraid of motion picture Indians.

They're

motion picture Indians?

No. He's not afraid. I would

say that he fears nothing.

That stunt you just did was the most

hair-raising thing I have ever seen.

You are a daredevil.

Amalgamated Pictures

could use a man like you.

You mean working in a studio?

Working in a studio?

We could get a line on that

Gorman, that dirty swindler.

We could get the cops

to get after him. Right.

Hey, in this studio,

what would I be, the janitor?

Mr. Piper.

You have an excellent

sense of humor.

Mr. Snavely wishes

to engage you as a stuntman.

Stuntman?

Yes.

And if he will allow me to

direct you, I, Sergei Toumanoff...

will take very good

care of you.

It's a deal. From now on, you

will double for all of our stars.

Just how long will this job last?

Until something happens to you.

Come on, Mr. Piper.

You, Mr. Pierce, I'll ride you back to

my office and we'll sign the contract.

No.

Mr. Piper...

you maybe rest assured that I

will do everything in my power...

to locate this scoundrel

Gorman for you...

and get

your aunt's money back.

Thanks a lot, Mr. Snavely. Thanks

a million, Mr. Snavely. Come on.

Pardon us, Mr. Snavely.

Well, you gentlemen

are coming up in the world.

Is Mr. Snavely going to star

you? No. He's going to help us.

He's going to help us find

that crook named Gorman.

Well, I must tell

Mr. Toumanoff about this.

I'm sure he'll be happy to do

something about your finding Mr. Gorman.

Say, didn't I...

No.

I still think I know

that girl from someplace.

Look. What else can you offer me

for this job besides the money?

I will make

you my right-hand man.

Piper will double for you

in the airplane scenes.

He's going to double for me?

What are you trying to do?

Kill him or my career?

After I make him jump

from the plane today...

neither of us will worry about

our careers.

Well, of all the nerve.

I thought you were a girl.

I was supposed to be a

stuntman. Now, I'm a girl.

Listen, what is the difference?

That's too big a stunt for me.

We both want to find Gorman,

don't we?

Now, you're doubling for that

actress today. Keep your eyes open.

You know, there's something about

that girl that I seem to remember.

What do you mean?

It's a woman's intuition.

All you women are alike.

Piper.

Where is Piper?

You've got on the wrong

clothes. You can say that again.

Go change into your flying outfit.

Mr. Toumanoff is waiting. Hurry up.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes